WE HAVE TO WAIT THREE MORE DAYS?!?!?!?!?

Way to screw with us National Hockey League.

Anyway the predictions have just been coming in lately and most of them are pretty optimistic.

Canadiens in 6, Canadiens in 7, even a Boston in 7 series is an accomplishment from the Canadiens, who were Hockey's Osbourne Family this year, complete with Kovy in the role of Ozzy screaming "SA-A-A-A-AKU!!!!"

I know people want to hear predictions for all the other series, but it doesn't really concern me so I'm not going to do it.

For the Canadiens however, I think THREE factors need to be in place for us to pull an upset.

#1:  Goaltending.  Even though Carey Price has lost his last two starts, he has been absolutely brilliant, making huge saves and looking confident.  Tim Thomas has been one of the biggest success stories from this year, look for him to be hungry to prove he can win a Playoff Series and be a legitimate Star goalie, if Carey Price can keep up making the big saves the Canadiens could have an edge.

 

#2: Power Play.  We saw how big of an impact Mathieu Schneider makes on this team, as his bazooka shot has almost single handily brought us out from the cellar in Power Play efficiency, if only he was that good defensively...(Let's never talk about that Power Play against the Penguins ever again)  We need Schneider to keep it up and hopefully QB Andrei Markov can come back for the first game of the Playoffs and who knows? Maybe we can win a game.

#3:  Secondary Scoring.  The NHL Default line has hit a snag lately, mainly because of the lack of Andrei Markov in their Super Line of Tanguay-Koivu-Kovalev-Schneider-Markov, but look for them to put up the numbers once Thursday rolls around, as all three forwards are known to be proven Playoff performers.  Maxim Lapierre and Guillame Latendresse are ripping shit up on the third line and even Big Georgie Boy Laraque looked good on Saturday.  The problem is the second line.  Thomas Plekanec and Andrei Kostitsyn have been cold as nitroglycerin lately and MUST put points up and revert to their 2007-2008 forms.  Without a legitimate threat on the second line, we're screwed brother...

Enjoy the next three days of unbearable anticipation.

Peace True Believers,

E

Shipping Up To Boston Habs lose finale 3-1

So that was a bad game....

But it's not really any reason for concern.

That one Power Play was a nightmare...

But Carey played one hell of a hockey game.

So it's decided, we're taking on the Boston Bruins ONCE AGAINin the Eastern Confrence Quarter Finals.

You know what, I'm not even remotely pissed.

So I sat down with coach Obrand for an intresting chat.

E: So Coach, what are your thoughts on the Bruins?

Coach: Personally, I think the Bruins have SICK first three lines, so it will be one hell of a series.

E: So coach, you're an observent Jew, did you invite Mathieu Schneider to your Passover seder?



Coach: Of course I did, but he didn't answer me back, I'm a little offended since when I'm named coach of this team in the Off-Season, I'll become the youngest Sport Pro since Henry Rowengartner in Rookie Of The Year







E: Okay then, so final question of the regular season. Which player do you see doing the most damage for the Canadiens in the Playoffs.


Coach: Max Pacioretty.


E: I do not think Pacioretty will be called up.


Coach: Oh... I see...well then maybe Alex Tanguay, he scored two goals in the 2001 Stanley Cup Final Game 7 against Marty Friggin Brodeur, I think he's very capable.


Well there you have it, I think this will be one sick series.
Get your car flags ready.
Peace True Believers,
E

The game that nobody cares about... Habs Pens Preview

As Eric Engels of Hockey Buzz so eloquently stated, Thursday's 5-4 Overtime loss was "The most celebrated loss in the history of the Montreal Canadiens".
I know...
Tonight's season finale versus Sid the Kid and the Pittsburgh Penguins seems incredibly anti-climactic.

There's been a lot of debate lately over whether the Habs should go all out tonight for a higher spot at 7th or if we should rest our players and expect to play our rivals the Boston Bruins.
It seems that Bob is leaning twoards the 2nd option, as reportedly Alex Tanguay will sit, Kaptain K will play on the 4th line and Kovy will wing a line with Glen Metropolit and Chris Higgins.

Oh Yeah, they're definitley going all out tonight.....
Duuuuhhhuuuurrrr!!!
So anyway, enjoy this game, I don't think it will be as intense as our last match, and get ready for one hell of a regular season finale interview with Coach Obrand.
Peace True Believers,
E

CLINCH

So.. the Canadiens played a great game, but lost in Overtime on a bad goal
Buuuuuuutt......

And I don't think you do either.... With the point in overtime the Canadiens clinch that annoying little point that sends us into the Post Season.
Astonishingly, I'm excited for it and actually think we can do some damage.
Here's why...
It looked like we were up for dead when it was announced both Mathieu Schneider and Andrei Markov would be out indefinitely.
Our Power Play went 0-6 without them and it seemed like even if we did make the playoffs, we would not win a game against the Bruins or Capitals.
But Matty the Messiah made a triumphant return last night after we were told he was done for the year.
He revamped our PP that scored 3 goals and blasted a seeing eye shot past Timmy Thomas for his 9th of the season.
Most importantly, it looked like we were actually able to compete with the Big Bad Bruins tonight, aside from getting pushed around physically by Milan Lucic the re-incarnation of Cam Neely.
But hey, once Georgie Boy gets in the line-up, we can forget about that nuisance.
Nothing says "Get the Hell out of here and don't screw with my players" like a 6'3 250 pound Haitian.
Personally, I think that it'll be a close series if we play the Bruins.
A lot of you tell me "Well we're going to be 8th, so there's no chance we can win"
So, in 2002 we didn't deserve to beat the #1 Bruins?
"Well um, that was an exception"
And in 2004, we didn't deserve to come back from a 3-1 series deficit and beat the #2 Bruins?
"Well um, you see.."
AAAND to not sound like a complete homer, didn't the #8 Bruins give us all we could handle last year?
"Stop it, let me pretend to know what I'm talking about"
So here's the deal, when the Playoffs start, I want to see every friggin' mini van and SUV in Hampstead and Westmount festooned in Hab Flags, I wanna see banners draped along the apartments in Old Montreal, I want you to chant "OLE OLE" in your god-damned sleep, I want you ALL to piss off your teachers and bring Hab jerseys to school.
I WANT YOU TO BE PASSIONATE
I WANT YOU TO FORGET ABOUT ALL THE BULLSHIT THAT WENT ON THIS YEAR.
FORGET ABOUT CARBO AND HIS CRAZY TIES, FORGET ABOUT PASQUALE MANGIOLA AND HIS BEVY OF HOOKERS, FORGET ABOUT CAREY PRICE'S TUMBLE INTO MEDIOCRITY AND FOR GOD'S SAKE FORGET ABOUT THAT VACATION KOVALEV TOOK.
It's a new day.
A bright new day.
The season will start fresh.
This one is much more important.
Peace True Believers.
E


P.S. I want to thank you all for your ongoing support this year.
I did not think I would have kept writing by now, but I have more than 50 posts!


You guys kept me going with your positive feedback and your love for a pure no nonsense look at the game from a real fan, not the baboons on TV that make a living telling Canada about all their respective team's issues and not like the Blood Thirsty Jackals (Oops, I meant the french media) that constantly tell us we should get rid of any player who isn't born in Joliette or Abitibi-Témiscamingue.


So this will take long.


SHOUTOUTS TO: Coach Obrand, Litty the Boy Wonder, Tubby Waxman, The Nu, Le Petit Tigre, Smirnoff Ice, Griz, MC O-Mayzing, Bong Hit, Nadler, The St. G boys and ANYONE ELSE WHO HAS WISHED ME WELL OVER THE COURSE OF THIS BLOG'S GROWTH.
I raise a glass to you boys.
Happy Pesach,
Hope you drank ALL FOUR cups of wine tonight.
PEACE.

Guess this now well respected journalist!

To keep your spirits up, here's a clip from the Reality TV show The Lofters

Guess who the blonde girl playing tonsil hockey is?

Give up?

It's Sportscentre Anchor Jennifer Hedger!!

Enjoy the game.

Peace True Believers.

E

Our Last Supper?

This could be it.

This is the microcosm of our entire season.

Beat the Bruins, our heated rivals, and make the Playoffs.

If we lose and the Panthers and Rangers win, were on the outside looking in.

The last time we played our last game of the season for a chance at the Playoffs, we collapsed and lost to the Toronto Maple Leafs.

AND IT WAS A POINTLESS GAME BECAUSE TORONTO DIDN'T EVEN MAKE IT THAT YEAR.

So we all know what we need to do now.

No good word on Matty Schnieds and Andy Marks so the Canadiens called up AHL Power Play QB Yannick Weber from the Hamilton Bulldogs.

 He has 44 points this year for the Pound, and a bazooka of a shot.

WILL HE BE OUR SWISS SAVIOUR?

WILL CAREY PRICE STEAL A GAME?

WILL WE FINALLY MAKE THE PLAYOFFS?

WILL I STOP TYPING IN CAPS LOCK?

Only time will tell...

Btw, huge thanks to Zuck and Coach Obrand for my beautiful new title image.

Great job boys.

In the mean time here's a sick little video from the Boston series last year that Coach picked out of the archives.

UPDAAAAATE

ACCORDING TO RDS 

THE SEMITIC SAVIOUR, THE YEOMAN YID, THE MONTREAL MACCABI MATTY SCHNEIDER WILL PLAY SOON!!!!

We Need To Pray Rangers 3 Canadiens 1

Take this passionate Nun's example.

Second straight loss, second straight poor showing by our once potent Offence and Power Play.

Carey Price makes 41 saves, but still gives up a couple ridiculous looking goals.

Things seem to be falling apart around us.

Right now I don't even care if Mathieu Schneider's shoulder is falling off, WE NEED HIM TO PLAY.

It's sad that it has come to this.

We have to band together as a group.  Stay positive, you still need that belief that we can make it.

Who knows, if Florida loses one of their games, we don't need the Canadiens to win at all.

We're one point out.

Two games left.

Keep the faith please.

Peace true believers,

E