Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Plek Attacks! Habs 2 Lightning 1

Missed part of the game, was at the airport picking up a family member.
Habs blow another lead, but still come out with a big two points. Tomas Plekanec is not human, Carey Price had a great game.
I hope people listened to Pierre McGuire this afternoon when he said that people should "stop ranking Price and Halak every time one of them has a good game". He brought up the example of the 1992 Rangers who won the President's Trophy with a platoon effort from Mike Richter and John Vanbiesbrouck. McGuire said that the Rangers would have won the cup had they not run into the Pittsburgh Penguins, who Lucky Pierre was the assistant coach for.
Peace, have a happy New Year.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Bizarro world strikes again. Sens 4 Habs 2

Is it not puzzling to you all why in the one game that we actually keep pace with a team for two periods only to lose a game in regulation?
Positives from this game: Gionta came back and was a pest getting through the Defenseman and generating good scoring chances. Jaroslav Halak was incredibly solid, the only goals being when he was screened, and Benoit Pouliot had an excellent game scoring his first as a Hab.
Negatives: A lot. Marc Andre Bergeron's putrid Brain Shart that led to the Game Winning Goal. Yes it was a brain shart, not only was it a brain fart but because he resembles someone with sub par mental capabilities, he probably soiled himself. The Canadiens also could not generate ANYTHING in the third period.
Next up for the squad: Back 2 Back games in the sunshine state. Hopefully Carey Price will do the same Usain Bolt stance he pulled last year after beating the Lightning in a shootout.
Peace true believers,

Saturday, December 26, 2009

How the hell did we win that one? Habs 3 Leafs 2 OT

I am in a room full of Maple Leaf fans to start Overtime, the tension is as thick as (insert fat person joke here). My fellow viewers are in good spirit, their team has almost 50 shots and just missed the net with less than ten seconds to go. The overtime started and the Canadiens got the puck into the Leafs zone. "Well at least they're actually going to get a shot on net..." And then boom, a lame duck shot by Andrei Kostitsyn, and game over. The entire room in shock. The Maple Leaf supporters stunned that their team put in such a strong effort only to come away with it with one measly point, and the Canadiens fans in the room, well, we did not know how we even got a point in the first place.
As Raymond Babbitt would say, "Definitely, D-D-Definitely a shitty game". I could just end it there by saying "Well a win is a win" but this one deserves a little more rant.
A lot of idiot Canadiens fans think that we should trade Jaro Halak, one of them going as far as saying that we could "Get Jeff Carter". Straight up. No, I was not polling the Shot put Bronze Medalist at the Special Olympics. At least that guy would have a concept of the way sports work. My point is that at this point, with Jaroslav being the only thing that keeps us in games, we should pray he does not get dealt.
Well we are back in a playoff spot, with three games in the next week, it should be either a great way to gain momentum or a terrible way to lose it.
Props to Tommy Pleks and Andrei Markov once again for top notch performances, and of course Jaroslav Halak, who will PROOOOOBABLY be between the pipes Monday night versus the Senators.
Finally to round out my report, I was kind of bored watching Team Canada physically and mentally raping Team Latvia 16-0. And since there are no Canadiens prospects playing for Canada, I am just looking for Patrice Cormier to kill a poor swiss-man tomorrow given his recent history of dirty hits.
Peace True Believers,

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Tomas Plekanec is all man. Canadiens 5 Hurricanes 1

When I made fun of Pleks last year, it was only in the frustration of knowing that he was capable of having a 70 point season and being a contributing member of our second line.
How little did I know.
Now on pace for 90 points, Plekanec looks to be the highest scoring Canadiens player since Pierre Turgeon & Vincent Damphousse had 96 and 94 points respectively in 1995-1996. He also looks like an all star 1st line center, a role nobody thought he would ever come close to filling. He also has helped Mike Cammalleri's first season become a huge success as he could score 40 goals for the first time in his career, and Plekanec has also lit a fire under the pale ass of Andrei Kostitsyn after an almost unbearably slow start and is now starting to piece together a pretty respectable season. Finally tonight I was able to see the magic made between Plekanec and Andrei Markov, our all world defenseman. It is now clear to see the gargantuan difference Andrei makes for this team, relaxing our Powerplay that has been dynamite since his return, and making smart and crisp breakout passes.
I know it's easy to boast when we beat the worst team in the league, but these are the wins we need. If the Canadiens want to eliminate the hole they have dug, as they are a few points behind the East playoff teams with less games to play, they must keep beating Teams lower than them in the standings, and try to keep competing with the Washingtons, New Jerseys and Pittsburghs of the league.
Cautious optimism for the team, but all out written orgasm for Tommy Pleks. Keep it up buddy.
Peace true believers,

Monday, December 21, 2009

Queen Mab, our savior. Habs 4 Thrashers 3 OT

O, then, I see Queen Mab hath been with you.
She is the fairies' midwife, and she comes
In shape no bigger than an agate-stone

I don't know what that means, but god damn did we need that win. Maybe it's a testament to how much Marc Andre Bergeron resembles a special needs person, but there was something expected when he smashed into the post after scoring the game winning goal.
God bless you and your helmet wearing ways.
Nice win.
See you all Wednesday, Carolina, the debut of Benny Poo.
Peace true believers,

Sunday, December 20, 2009

The Return of the Russian!!!

Something tells me there will be more of this in Andrei Markov's future. Ovi however, looks like he's had a bit too much Stoli.
And he should get some jeans with not as many holes next time. He looks like he got in a Monkey fight with team mate Alex Semin. I know I've posted this video before, but one more time couldn't hurt.

What a relief, that after all the bad penalties the Canadiens took, and the one Powerplay we had where we almost got scored on Twice shorthanded, we come out with a win and Andrei Markov was a force, scoring two Powerplay goals. Let's hope he has a more comfortable night than Georges Laraque, who because of the lack of room at the hotel, had to share a room with Equipment Manager Pierre Gervais and the ENTIRE group of Canadiens Media. Hope Georges doesn't sleep fight.
Tonight on the tube: Two NHL games: Great Central Division between the Wings and Hawks, while the Blues and Canucks tee up in last years Conference Quarter Finals re-match. Full day of Football, including my Chargers taking on the Bengalsm in what will be an emotional game. Finally to round out your viewing pleasure, Team Canada's first World Junior Exhibition game versus Sweden, tonight at 8 pm on TSN.
Enjoy the holiday.

Friday, December 18, 2009


Gotta love that Beaker.
And those two asshole old guys.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

A Tribute To Chris Henry

I was just prepping for my beloved San Diego Chargers taking on the Bengals on Sunday, but after the untimely death of one of their players, I feel like I should be one of the millions who will give a public memoriam.
Chris Henry was a player who made a lot of mistakes, and I truly thought he was a lost cause who would never realize how to be a mature role model in sports. Over this past year Chris Henry and other troubled Bengals like Cedric Benson have seemed to try and make a turnaround in life. It is seems sad that when he had finally realized that things like family were more important than partying, he has his life taken away.
Hopefully other athletes who live a carefree lifestyle with no intrest in cleaning up their act should take this as a massive reality check and try to turn their lives around before it is too late.
Peace everyone, and take care of yourselves

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The most infuriating losing streak ever.

I could possibly deal with the Canadiens losing by hefty margins every game. At least I would know that we would have a shot at a lottery pick, but the last four games have (to paraphrase Peter Griffin) "Ground the fuck out of my gears".
All one goal games, all a product of the Canadiens inability to stay out of the Penalty box.
How much proof do we need that this is the reason we are losing games, seriously.
I truly believe this team has the talent to be a top 5 seed in this conference even without Markov and Gionta. If we would have won these four games and not gotten retarded penalties late, we would be looking at a team with 41 points, and tah dah! 5th seed in the East.
The Canadiens have immense potential to do something special this year, they have a 1st line that is producing and hard working checkers who do not quit on plays. Add that to a yeoman effort by Roman Hamrlik, the return of Andrei Markov one of the league's best D-Men and put it all in front of an inspired Carey Price who gives us a chance to win each game he starts, and we got a hell of a team. Right now the Canadiens Team is a Mercedes that was given by a Father to his stoner son who stains the leather seats with Wendy's wrappers when he gets the munchies for a Spicy Chicken Sandwich and fills it wit terrible low end gas.
Shit, I got to get myself to Wendy's one of these days. Love that sandwich.
Add this to Louis Leblanc getting cut from Team Canada, and it adds up to a pretty crappy week for Habs fans.
Oh by the way does anyone else find it funny that TSN is calling TSN 2 "the deuce"?
Stay positive.
Peace True Believers,

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Halak being shipped???

Rumors continue to swirl about the future of our back-up Goaltender, and today it was announced that Bob Gainey had been trying to send Jaro to Philadelphia. I know you don't really care about my input, but here it is anyway.
Jaro Halak is a good goaltender, is he a #1 Tender? I am not really sure, he has shown flashes of brilliance over the past three years, and is always consistent, but really has never hit the level of #1 Goaltender. Knowing that, I am not sure we should send him to a team if all we are getting back is a 2nd round pick, a generous return for a back-up but not going to help our team after we lose a reliable guy who will always give us a chance for a win.
If we can possibly package him to get a top six forward then that would be stupendous. I have confidence that Curtis Sanford could step in to play decently as an actual back-up and not as a 1B goalie like Halak, and with another top six forward to play on a line with possibly Gomez and Gionta, we could really compete for a spot in the Post-Season.
The only question is, who do we offer in a package?
It would be detrimental to trade another young top round player like P.K. Subban, so all signs lead to shipping away Sergei Kostitsyn, a head case who could use a change of scenery, but with his brother Andrei finally heating up, trading away his younger brother might not be the best option.
This situation is too over analyzed anyway, because there is a big chance Jaro might not be traded at all this year, so maybe we should just chill and let things play out.
But that's no fun, is it?

Monday, December 14, 2009

Markov Mystery

The case of the ever changing Slashed Tendon prognosis.
Seriously though, can Canadiens fans just keep it in their pants just this once...
He's playing tomorrow, he's playing in a week... he's never playing. Who the hell knows...
I just really hope that the media doesn't pressure the team to play him too early and something really serious happens.
Tonight the Canadiens take on the division leading Sabres, and they will try not to get walloped like last game against them. Jaro Halak will be between the pipes tonight that will give Carey Price some rest for the long streak of games the Habs have ahead.
Should be a barnburner...
Peace True Believers,

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Ref rape. Preview vs. Thrashers

Listen, I know Chris Lee is probably a good guy, and I know he probably did not intentionally want to screw the Canadiens Friday night versus the Penguins, but when your Team is playing in it's most important month, and every point counts, especially against the defending Champs, and you have exams on Monday and it is really cold outside, it REALLY pisses you off.

Anyways, the Canadiens take on the Thrashers tonight, and it looks like Andrei Markov is making huge steps towards his recovery from his Tendon Slice. Let's hope he's back soon and let's hope we don't get burned tonight and Carey Price bounces back from the bad goal he let up on Pascal Dupuis.
Gotta love Hockey on a Saturday night.
Peace True Believers.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

A blizzard of optimism. Habs 4 Sens 1

An accurate representation of the Sens Power Play last night.
Hardee freaking harr I know.
Well the weather outside is frightful
But watching the Canadiens beat teams even when they get out shot a billion to 13 is so delightful.
Since we've no place to go.
Let's not blow, let's not blow, let's not blow.
Get you all into the Christmas spirit.
It's great to see both our Goalies put in a great effort and our #1 Center and our Star Winger ACTUALLY PLAY like a #1 Center and a Star Winger.
Still, I cannot get truly excited about this team until they beat a Tier One team like the Pittsburgh Penguins, if they ever get a flight into the City.
One of the best things about Mike Cammalleri, is his humor.
When Cammalleri said "Lets' hope they only show up with 5 minutes before the game without any practice" I thought about the time when my Teacher was late the day of the test and I thought to myself "Gee, I really hope she only shows up with 5 minutes left and doesn't have enough time to give us the exam", is it a good thing that Mike Cammalleri has the same mentality of a 16 year old. Who the hell cares, he's going to score 40 goals this year.
I hope this storm keeps going so class is cancelled and I do not have to write that History essay tomor... damn I'm doing it again.
Peace True Believers.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Double Double

I'm going to quickly recap the game last night, tee up the game tonight and hit you up with a little bit of news around the League.
Do I spoil you or what?
13 shots on net. Not pretty, but I'll sure as hell take it. Carey Price continues to look good, Scrappy Coco and the great Jewtalian are still tearing it up, and Queen Mab shows at least he's worth something scoring his sixth of the year.
Tonight! We take on the Sens, last time we played Alex Kovalev gave us a little reminder of the talent we had. The talent that showed up every three games, complained about the coaches, took a week off and THEN wanted to be captain. Anyway Eugene Melnyk has already called him out along with Jason Spezza as the Senators are in the midst of a mediocre season and some bad luck. Poor Pascal Leclaire, he never saw that lil' bastard coming. If the Canadiens win, they will finally be back in a Playoff spot and over .500. Which leads me to believe we're going to lay quite a big goose egg.
I keed I keed.
That's it for now.
Y'all have fun now

Saturday, December 5, 2009

This team confuses me. Canadiens 5 Bruins 1

Before the game last night, Montrealers were expecting the worse. The formula was a recipe for disaster.
A) Play for the second night in the row after getting spanked 6-2.
B) Playing the Boston Bruins, our bitter rival who would love nothing more than to ruin the Canadiens' 100th Birthday Party
C) Having a 2 hour pre-game ceremony that would surely take all intensity away from the Canadiens.
During the incredible opening of the ceremony, where Habs legends of the past skated in full unifrom and took shots on fully padded Patrick Roy and Ken Dryden, I made some jokes that we would probably be better off with this version of aged legends instead of our regular team, and hell, Yvan Cournoyer still has some mad wheels! I even went as far as shouting out "Play him instead of Bergeron!" When Emile "Butch" Bouchard came out to retire his #3. Yes, I believed that a 90 year old in a wheelchair would fare better than our current blue liners.
But then the game started. And once the second rolled around, I was more bewildered then ol' George Dubya in a chess game.
I am ecsatic about the way the team played last night, but I do not understand why they cannot put this effort in every game. They are professionals, it is their job to be good at Hockey. You wouldn't pay the guy who mows your lawn $7 M a year just because his name is also Gomez.
I hope the Canadiens can ride the momentum of finally being freed from the painfully long Centennial Celebrations and not feel like they are inmates just because those retarded Babershop Jerseys look like Prison garbs.
I'm happy. But I'm sure as hell that all the analysts were more shocked last night then when Brendan Burke came out.
And in all seriousness, if his Dad wanted to show he was tolerant towards Gay people, why on earth did he trade Jiri Tlusty?
Pops to Coach Obrand for that good one.
Great game boys, keep it up.
Peace True Believers,

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Tossing the CHIP bowl.

I make a funny in light of a god awful team performance last night.
Yet another promising prospect that did not live up to expectations.
Kyle Chipchura, captain of the 2006 World Junior Hockey Team that won Gold, with Guillame Latendresse riding the bench, psycho Steve Downie leading in scoring, and now Ducks AHL Teammate Justin Pogge in net, was traded to Anaheim for a 4th round draft pick.
He is the fifth former First round pick to leave the team this year, along with Saku Koivu, Mike Komisarek, Chris Higgins & Ryan McDonagh. This fuels the fire that maybe "Draft Guru" Trevor Timmins might not be all that he is cracked up to be.
Maybe Chips would have had a future with the Canadiens had he not suffered a tremendous tendon injury in Junior, but life is a bitch that way. It comes up and smacks you in the nose when you least expect it.
Happy Trails Chipper,
Hope you get to ride Splash Mountian in Disneyland.
That ride is cool.