- The Bruins humiliate our Canadiens. Boston def. Montreal 4-0
- The Caps are saved by a dude named Simeon. Washington def. New York 4-3
- The Devils blow their entire series in the 80 last seconds. Carolina def. New Jersey 4-3
- The Penguins break the mold of the Cup losers from last year being completely futile. Pittsburgh def. Philadelphia 4-2
- CHOKE! CHOKE! CHO- Anaheim def. San Jose 4-2
- Red Wings commit Hockey Rape. Detroit def. Columbus 4-0
- Sedin Squared find their long lost triplet: Alex Burrows. Vancouver def. St. Louis 4-0
- The Blackhawks bring some excitment back to Windy City Hockey. Chicago def. Calgary 4-2
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Thornton, Marleau, Cheechoo, Setoghuci, Michalek, Boyle, Blake, Vlasic, Ehrhoff and Nabokov.
Monday, April 27, 2009
- We got TWO game sevens!!
- The Capitals tie up the series and take the Rangers to school 5-3. It honestly looked like a bunch of Soviet legends versus my Bantam "B" team. If the Rangers want to come away with this series, they will NEED a perfect game from Hank Lundqvist.
- The Canes and Devils will go to a seventh and deciding game after Carolina prevailed 4-0 last night. This is probably the best series of the first round but I have no seen any of the games since BELL FUCKING SATELITE TOOK AWAY MY TSN 2!!!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
- The Pens win the Battle of Pennsylvania after coming back from a 3-0 deficit in Game 6. Maybe it will give Hab fans some closure that the team that knocked us out last year is golfing two rounds earlier... God Damn RJ Umberger....
- Chicago bends over and spanks Calgary 5-1 to take a 3-2 lead in the series. That'll teach that mischievous Otter, Olli Jokinen.
- San Jose avoids being the biggest choke job in NHL history for at least one more game with a 3-2 Overtime win versus the Mighty Ducks. (I will always refer to them as that.) GOOOOOLDBERG!!!!!!
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
- The Washington Capitals are in a hole against the Rangers, much in part to the absolute brilliance of New York tender King Henrik Lundqvist. The two teams play tonight in Game 5 in DC. The Rangers can take the series 4-1, the Capitals will need one hell of a game from their own Red Army of Ovechkin, Semin, Fedorov, Kozlov and Varlamov if they want to stay alive.
- The Devils Hurricanes series is turning out to be probably the best series of the entire first round, close games and sharp goal tending have made this one almost too close to call. The Devils now have the slight edge with a 1-0 win last night, the 23rd post season shutout for Marty.
- The Pittsburgh Philadelphia series has been a nasty affair, (watch Dan Carcillo's face off Punch, epic..) the Flyers were given up for dead when they were down 3-1 but proved people wrong with a 3-0 manhandling of the Pens on their own turf last night. Look for this series to go the distance.
- The Stanley Cup favorite San Jose Sharks look to be falling apart at the seams, down 3-1 after a 4-0 drubbing at the hands of the Anaheim Mighty Ducks, coached by Gordon Bombay. Adam Banks and Jesse Hall each scored twice and Julie "the Cat" Gathwright got the shutout. Kenny Wu tried to do some kind of gay little pirouette but got merked by Dan Boyle. If you didn't catch the Disney reference yet then you should stop reading.
- The Detroit Red Wings look like the Defending Champs with a 4-0 traumatic cherry popping of the Playoff Virgin Columbus Blue Jakcets. The last game was a snipe show 6-5, with the Jackets taking a controversial too-many-men penalty with less than a minute left with the score tied 5-5. The winner was potted on the Power Play by my favorite player in the entire league, Johan "Da Mule" Franzen. Chris Osgood is my favorite story so far, on an absolute mission from the Hockey Gods after he was told he was not good enough to play in the post-season.
- The Canucks topped the St. Louis Blues with their own sweep. The last game going to overtime with Alexandre Burrows scoring the winner. As I previously stated, I am now pulling for the 'Nucks because they are a Canadian team and they don't have Olli Jokinen who looks like a stupid Otter.
- The Flames and Blackhawks are deadlocked 2-2 in a tough series, I personally dislike the Calgary Flames, except for Jarome Iginla and Half-Jew Mike Cammalleri. Hopefully the Hawks can pull it off and we can see Super Sophs Kane and Toews in round two.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
So the big question is, WHO DO WE BLAME FOR THIS MESS OF A PLAYOFF.
- The Flyers bounce back at home with a sound 6-3 wins against Pittsburgh. Simon Gagne pots the Short Handed Game Winner. Series is now 2-1.
- The Canucks take a stranglehold on their series with a 3-2 win in St. Lou. Bobby Luongo looks like a demi-god in tacky blue and green uniforms.
- Jersey takes a 2-1 series lead with 3-2 Overtime win. Travis Zajac with the winna.
- Jonas Hiller is the suprise star of these young playoffs making 40 saves ina 3-2 win and taking a 2-0 series lead over the President Trphy winner Sharks.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Okay before I start with the round-up just thought you should click this link.
- Hurricanes bounce back after an embarrassing Game One loss and win 2-1 in Overtime in the New Jersey Swamp. TIMMMAAAY Gleason with the winner.
- The battle of Pennsylvania rages on with a 3-2 instant classic in the Steel City. Billy Guerin (GOD YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A HAB) scores the overtime winner.
- Finaaaaalllyyy, Bobby Lu shows why he's one of the best 'tenders in the world with a 3-0 blank out of the St. Louis Blues. Everyone who has him in their playoff pool must be having multiples right now.
Friday, April 17, 2009
- Blackhawks top Flames in 3-2 thrilla. Marty Havlat shows why he's an elite player when he's healthy.
- Defending champ Red Wings sodomize playoff virgin Blue Jackets 4-1. BRING OUT THE GIMP!!!
- Ducks surprise top team Sharks 2-0. To quote the great Edgar Allan Poe: They're fucking chokers.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
- New Jersey manhandled Carolina 4-1.
- Pittsburgh dismantled Philly 4-1, in a game that got very chippy by the end.
- Vancouver hung on to a 2-1 win against the St. Louis Blues
Monday, April 13, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
E: So coach, you're an observent Jew, did you invite Mathieu Schneider to your Passover seder?
Coach: Of course I did, but he didn't answer me back, I'm a little offended since when I'm named coach of this team in the Off-Season, I'll become the youngest Sport Pro since Henry Rowengartner in Rookie Of The Year
E: Okay then, so final question of the regular season. Which player do you see doing the most damage for the Canadiens in the Playoffs.
Coach: Max Pacioretty.
E: I do not think Pacioretty will be called up.
Coach: Oh... I see...well then maybe Alex Tanguay, he scored two goals in the 2001 Stanley Cup Final Game 7 against Marty Friggin Brodeur, I think he's very capable.
Well there you have it, I think this will be one sick series.
Get your car flags ready.
Peace True Believers,
Tonight's season finale versus Sid the Kid and the Pittsburgh Penguins seems incredibly anti-climactic.
There's been a lot of debate lately over whether the Habs should go all out tonight for a higher spot at 7th or if we should rest our players and expect to play our rivals the Boston Bruins.
It seems that Bob is leaning twoards the 2nd option, as reportedly Alex Tanguay will sit, Kaptain K will play on the 4th line and Kovy will wing a line with Glen Metropolit and Chris Higgins.
Oh Yeah, they're definitley going all out tonight.....
So anyway, enjoy this game, I don't think it will be as intense as our last match, and get ready for one hell of a regular season finale interview with Coach Obrand.
Peace True Believers,
Friday, April 10, 2009
So.. the Canadiens played a great game, but lost in Overtime on a bad goal
And I don't think you do either.... With the point in overtime the Canadiens clinch that annoying little point that sends us into the Post Season.
Astonishingly, I'm excited for it and actually think we can do some damage.
It looked like we were up for dead when it was announced both Mathieu Schneider and Andrei Markov would be out indefinitely.
Our Power Play went 0-6 without them and it seemed like even if we did make the playoffs, we would not win a game against the Bruins or Capitals.
But Matty the Messiah made a triumphant return last night after we were told he was done for the year.
He revamped our PP that scored 3 goals and blasted a seeing eye shot past Timmy Thomas for his 9th of the season.
Most importantly, it looked like we were actually able to compete with the Big Bad Bruins tonight, aside from getting pushed around physically by Milan Lucic the re-incarnation of Cam Neely.
But hey, once Georgie Boy gets in the line-up, we can forget about that nuisance.
Nothing says "Get the Hell out of here and don't screw with my players" like a 6'3 250 pound Haitian.
Personally, I think that it'll be a close series if we play the Bruins.
A lot of you tell me "Well we're going to be 8th, so there's no chance we can win"
So, in 2002 we didn't deserve to beat the #1 Bruins?
"Well um, that was an exception"
And in 2004, we didn't deserve to come back from a 3-1 series deficit and beat the #2 Bruins?
"Well um, you see.."
AAAND to not sound like a complete homer, didn't the #8 Bruins give us all we could handle last year?
"Stop it, let me pretend to know what I'm talking about"
So here's the deal, when the Playoffs start, I want to see every friggin' mini van and SUV in Hampstead and Westmount festooned in Hab Flags, I wanna see banners draped along the apartments in Old Montreal, I want you to chant "OLE OLE" in your god-damned sleep, I want you ALL to piss off your teachers and bring Hab jerseys to school.
I WANT YOU TO BE PASSIONATE
I WANT YOU TO FORGET ABOUT ALL THE BULLSHIT THAT WENT ON THIS YEAR.
FORGET ABOUT CARBO AND HIS CRAZY TIES, FORGET ABOUT PASQUALE MANGIOLA AND HIS BEVY OF HOOKERS, FORGET ABOUT CAREY PRICE'S TUMBLE INTO MEDIOCRITY AND FOR GOD'S SAKE FORGET ABOUT THAT VACATION KOVALEV TOOK.
It's a new day.
A bright new day.
The season will start fresh.
This one is much more important.
Peace True Believers.
P.S. I want to thank you all for your ongoing support this year.
I did not think I would have kept writing by now, but I have more than 50 posts!
You guys kept me going with your positive feedback and your love for a pure no nonsense look at the game from a real fan, not the baboons on TV that make a living telling Canada about all their respective team's issues and not like the Blood Thirsty Jackals (Oops, I meant the french media) that constantly tell us we should get rid of any player who isn't born in Joliette or Abitibi-Témiscamingue.
So this will take long.
SHOUTOUTS TO: Coach Obrand, Litty the Boy Wonder, Tubby Waxman, The Nu, Le Petit Tigre, Smirnoff Ice, Griz, MC O-Mayzing, Bong Hit, Nadler, The St. G boys and ANYONE ELSE WHO HAS WISHED ME WELL OVER THE COURSE OF THIS BLOG'S GROWTH.
I raise a glass to you boys.
Hope you drank ALL FOUR cups of wine tonight.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Also, Marky Mark seems to be in better condition than previously reported, walking around the dressing room without favoring his leg.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Tonight will be a classic matchup look for the habs to come out strong wih a real stirde in their step because theres no backing down in this one, it's gunna look like a playoff series out there but wait until we go to New York New York
This is what crunchtime hockey is all about.
Now folks get your hunny bunches of oats in your system ... tie your skates from right to left and get suited up for this heated battle because it's gunna fuck your mind up...
I have my Grandparents 55th anniversary.
Enjoy the game Tattelehs.