Saturday, May 30, 2009

And heeeereee weeee gooooo

Coach Obrand has another great video to get you all in the Finals mood.

I will be watching.
Will you???
Yeah you probably will.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

2008 Stanley Cup Finals: REEEEMIX 2K9

YEAAAAHHH!!!!                             WHAAAAATT?????                        OKAAYYYYYYY!
I always wanted to do that.  
So here's the deal.  Pittsburgh coasted into the Finals without a real challenge versus the Carolina Hurricanes, the Red Wings had a little bit of a tougher time, but it only took 5 games.
Darren Helm is one of my new favorite players, Sidney Crosby deserves some god damn recognition already Ovechkin fans.  I mean, two Stanley Cup Finals in two years?  Leading all players in the playoffs with 28 points?  Come on, even though he has a very dirty stache, you gotta give him some love.

Well the  Conference series' almost ruined the best Playoffs EVA.
I have a feeling the Stanley Cup Finals will be one of the best in recent memory.
I believe that now is the Penguins time, a changing of the guard, much like the Oilers defeating the mighty Islanders in 1984 after losing in the finals the year before.  Coincedentally this is the last time two teams met two years in a row.
Sid will get his ring, and the Conn Smythe, and the Pens will take their place as the NHL's elite.
Pittsburgh in 7 for the Stanley Cup.

Anyway after I gave my personal shortlist for the Canadiens Head Coaching position, I recieved a letter from my buddy Coach Obrand who had some choice words about the list, the playoffs and Cristobal Huet's performance last night.
As a disclaimer, the views by Coach Obrand are not shared by myself or anyone else on this site.

"Cristobal Huet!!! Obviously he would be the one to let in BOTH goals at the worst moment in history.. one of them in the third period.. the other being in OVERTIME!!!! For once in your life CLOSE YOUR DAMN LEGS I mean the guy lets in more rubber than a $2 Hooker. 

AND I am very dissapointed at you for not putting me on your list for the possible entraineur-chef of the club...Big Bird can be my assistant"

Thanks alot Coach.

Enjoy your hockey day off.
Happy Shavuot Hebrews and Shebrews.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Roy politely declines.

No he didn't pull this move on Pierre Lacroix.
Patty has turned down the job of Head Coach and General Manager of the Colorado Avalanche.  Throughout this whole process you have to feel bad for Tony Granato, who's job is baisically up for grabs while he still hold the post, this will be the second time he has been replaced on this particular post.

Does this mean Roy is a lock for Habs bench boss? Could it mean a new era of tough no bullshit coaching where anyone who whines will get the snot kicked out of them by Patrick's psycho back up goaltender son Jonathan???
No. He announced he would stay with the Remparts, so cross him off the list.
I would love Patrick Roy to be our new coach, but there are other options.
Larry Robinson, Marc Crawford, Bob Hartley and Guy Boucher all have a chance at the job. Only time will tell what plays out.

Anyway, Pittsburgh coasted to their second straight Eastern Conference Championship and the Red Wings can advance yet again the the finals with a win tonight.  If they do prevail, I will have merked that prediction of "Detroit in 5".
The story I put out yesterday about Kovalev got on the front page of today.  You can thank me later Onrait and O'Toole.  Don't look into it though, because it is my amateur opinion that this is grade A Bullshlacha.  

Enjoy the game tonight

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Oops. Again...

Okay maybe I spoke too soon when I said these two series are going to be very close.

Detroit uberpowned the Hawks in game 4, without their future Hall of Famer Defenseman Nik Lidstrom and with Chris Osgood leaving midway through the game due to dehydration.

Pittsburgh just has too many weapons, and the Hurricanes are as dangerous as a nineties supersoaker. Look for the Pens to close the series out and capture their Prince Of Wales Trophy in as many years.

In other NHL news, the Edmonton Oilers hired Former Leaf Bench Boss and Junior National Coach Pat Quinn as their new Head Coach and former Ranger coach Tom Renney as his Associate Coach. Something tells me it's going to be a very different year in the City of Champions.

Sergei Fedorov, the 1994 Hart Trophy winner has probably played his last game in the NHL. The all-star Russian has reportedly signed a deal worth 3.8 yearly with Metallurg Magnitogorsk, Evgeni Malkin's old team. Fedorov was always known as an elite player but it was in '94 when he exploded for 120 points and ran away with MVP honors.
NHL Vet Viktor Kozlov has reportedly signed with Salavat Yulalev Ufa of the KHL, he will join a roster that features Oleg Tverdovsky, Alexander Radulov and the AHL's most feared stick swinger of all time, former Hab Alexander Perezhogin.

My condolences go out to the family of Peter Zezel, the 15 year NHL vet who passed away this afternoon at the tragic age of 44. Zezel had a rare blood disorder that caused him to go into a coma late this month. He was taken off life support today. I admired him as a hard nosed player that always gave 110%.

Canadiens news of the week: A Russian newspaper is reporting that Bob Gainey has offered Alex Kovalev a one year contract worth "6-7.5" Mil and the Captaincy, meaning that Captain Saku's days in Montreal are numbered. Before you go nuts, please take into account that Russian Newspapers are as credible as Bernie Madoff, so chill, we will see what really happens on July 1st.

All for now.
Enjoy the game.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Pardon me.

I'm sorry.
When I said the Conference Finals were not as entertaining as the Semis, I was mistaken.

I have to make some personal apologies.

To Gino Malkin.
I am truly sorry.  I was giving all the credit to Pittsburgh's success to Sid the Kid. Little did I know you had a monstrous game waiting for us.
Your third goal made me have a small orgasm in my PJ's.
Hopefully you can keep up that magic through this series. And hopefully your parents will keep the love going.. I saw them canoodling after your Hatrick.
Sexy time at the Malkin residence that night.

To the Chicago Blackhawks.
I really did not give you guys a chance in hell to win a game in this series.  Yesterday was an eye opener. Even though you did blow a three goal lead, this game shows everyone that while in the comforts of the United Center, you guys are a force to be reckoned with.

Besides the Habs playing worse than Robert Downey Jr. on Quaaludes, this has been a epic playoffs.


Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Game One Summaries

We are now into our first game of the conference finals...and it's been kinda a let down compared to the semis.
Eastern Finals:
Pittsburgh topped Carolina 3-2, even with the Canes limiting Sid the Kid to only one assist.

Western Finals:
Detroit shows once again why they are the defending champs, dispatching the upstart Hawks 5-2.
Check out Dan Cleary's absolute roof job to tie the game at 1.

Chicago and Detroit are dukeing it out as I type, check it out.

Or if your watching American Idol.....
Well you should probably clean the sand out of your man vaginas.

Friday, May 15, 2009

The Best Playoffs Everrrrrrr

Now try saying that in a Comic Book Guy Voice.
Aaaaanywaaaaays, we have witnessed possibly the greatest second round in NHL history.  Heroic performances by superstars like Kane, Toews, Crosby, Staal, Malkin and Ovechkin and surprise heroics from guys like Darren Helm, Jussi Jokinen and the amazing punching Scott Walker made these four series an absolute wet dream for hockey fans everywhere, save of course for the anti climactic 6-2 drubbing that ended the Pens Caps series, which was possibly the best first six games of a series anyone had ever seen.
So I think I was very wrong with some of the predictions in the semis, but I am very confident in my choices for the Conference Finals.

#4 Pittsburgh Penguins vs. #6 Carolina Hurricanes
Carolina earned a butt-load of respect after going the distance with a very tough Broons team, while Sidney Crosby silenced his critics after disposing of Ovie and his crew from the Nation's Capital. This series could be up for grabs, but I'll personally give the nod to the Pens because they simply outgun the Canes. 
Prediction: Penguins in 6.

#2 Detroit Red Wings vs. #4 Chicago Blackhawks
Everyone is jumping on the Chicago bandwagon, they are the Penguins of this year's playoff. Young  exceptionally talented guys getting their first real shot of deep playoff hockey, what's not to love? Although it would a great story if this squad could reach the finals and bring some puck respect back to the Windy City, don't count on it.  The Detroit Red Wings are firing on all cylinders and just getting out of a character building series that surprisingly went 7 games with the Ducks.  Every year it seems that a couple of generally unknown players step out and play big hockey for the Winged Wheel when they need it. Last year it was Johan Franzen and Nik Kronwall, this year it's St. Andrews Manitoba's favorite son, Darren Helm who bust out for a massive game seven and has been playing inspired hockey all playoff, even if his numbers don't show it.  Meanwhile Chris Osgood is still convinced he can lead a team in the Playoffs, and so am I.  
Prediction: Red Wings in 5.

Get ready for some Rock Em' Sock Em' Mind Boggling Hockey lads and lassies,
s'gunna be NUUUUTS.


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

A shot out in memoriam.

Hey guys I know many of you will want to hear some of my views on the incredible Game Six in the Windy City, but this is a different kind of post.
Today at about 4:30, my beloved Golden Retriever Kasey was put to rest after a wonderful 12 years by my side.
Kasey and I have watched many Hab games together in my den underneath a comfy white blanket, and nothing picked me up more after a bad loss than her cheery mug smiling at me.
For those of you that knew Kasey, you know that she was the most mild mannered dog in the world and would starve herself if it meant she could get a good belly rub.
So to all canine owners, give your dog a hug today for me.
Wherever you are Kase, I hope someone is scratching behind the ears just the way you like it.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Short Little Recaps.

Hey y'all...
  • Series of the Century is at round 4 tonight in steel town. Simmy VarLUHmov single handily kept the Capitals in the game two night ago, can Ovie give him some support?
  • The Mighty Ducks seemed to be on the right track against the Red Wings, until former Quackers Coach Mike Babcock switched up the lines and the combo of Filpula-Franzen-Hossa combined for 7 points last night.  These guys could decide the series.
  • Vancouver and Chicago are slugging away at each other, with the Canucks showing YET AGAIN why you should not trust them with ANYTHING in the third period. Hopefully for them they can develop some Anti-Choking device in time for Game 5.
  •  The Bruins are down 2-1 to the Hurricanes thanks to JUUUUUUSSSSIIII.  It makes me feel better that there's a good chance Milan Lucic will not play another series this year.
I'm currently nursing a brutal migraine.
I have a feeling Gary Bettman feels the same way right now dealing with the whole Ballsille debacle.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Will the NHL admit defeat?

 Yesterday rumors surfaced that Jim Ballsille had put in an offer to buy the Phoenix Coyotes after they filed for Chapter 11.
Hockey fans around the world were torn.
Many Canadian fans fully support Jimmy Boy's decision.  They all know that if he gets possession of the 'Yotes he will almost immediately move them to Southern Ontario.  Canada would love a 7th franchise and understand that a team in Hamilton or Kitchener will surely sell out more games than in Glendale.

You then have your NHL execs who do not support this AT ALL because this would mean the NHL admits that Hockey in the Desert was to put it in words you can understand: AN EPIC FAIL

I'm not going to take sides, but maybe it would be a good thing for another team in Canada that will create revenue.

Time will tell.

Plus there was some kind of Hockey game yesterday in between two guys who were kinda good at life.
This time, Sid the Kid didn`t have to carry the Pens by himself, as Gino Malkin had a heroic game and scored a goal on the Power Play in the third period that made his dad jump 4 feet in the air.
Check it out.
Plus the Hurricanes beat those Ass Clowns the Bruins.
I smell an upset....
or maybe its the dude next to me in French Class that`s not wearing deodorant.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The two biggest bosses of dem all.

No I'm not referring to DJ Astro or the Yshemboss.
Of course I'm referring to Sid and Ovie.  The two biggest names in hockey.
They TORE IT UP last night.  Both of them scored a hat trick.
David Steckel was the only difference for the Caps who were up 4-2 until Sid the Kid smacked a shot off of Siemon Var-LUHMOV. (That's how you pronounce it Bob Cole, you poor senile old man.)
Please sports fans, many of you aren't big hockey fans but you might read this blog because I make dirty jokes.
Please, watch the Capitals Penguins series.  It is everything good about sport today.
Young men with freak athletic abilities who are not on 'roids and not getting caught with weapons/drugs/all that other fun stuff.
With Football in it's offseason, you really don't have anything else like that
You might think it's PG, but when these young men are 200 pounds and torpedoing at each other, it is anything but.
This is sport.
It's fucking awesome.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

What a start!!!

Hoo Boy,
There is nothing more exciting than watching Hockey when your favorite team is not playing anymore and going through some kind of post hockey intense depression where you just want to take Alex Kovalev's prop plane and fly it into a large mountain.
But I digress.
The Second Round series' have been EXTREEEME.

The one that everyone is talking about is every NHL exec's wet dream. 
Ovie and Co. take on Sid and the Gang.
Game One was incredibly sexy going back and forth and featured Simeon Varlamov committing the crime of the century (shameless Supertramp reference) on Sidney Crosby.
This might be one of the best saves I have ever seen in the Playoffs.

Meanwhile Vancouver has blown two leads in their series, but only yesterday did it come back to bite them, with Chicago coming back from a 2-0 deficit and taking Game 2 6-3.
Detroit leads Anaheim 1-0, and the series I refuse to watch, Boston  vs. Carolina looks to be a complete mismatch for da Broons, with Michael Ryder looking like the 30 goal scorer he was for les Glorieux.
Peace guys,
Enjoy this beautiful spring day,
I'm spending 5 hours in a gym playing floor hockey.
Wish me luck.