Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Plek Attacks! Habs 2 Lightning 1

Missed part of the game, was at the airport picking up a family member.
Habs blow another lead, but still come out with a big two points. Tomas Plekanec is not human, Carey Price had a great game.
I hope people listened to Pierre McGuire this afternoon when he said that people should "stop ranking Price and Halak every time one of them has a good game". He brought up the example of the 1992 Rangers who won the President's Trophy with a platoon effort from Mike Richter and John Vanbiesbrouck. McGuire said that the Rangers would have won the cup had they not run into the Pittsburgh Penguins, who Lucky Pierre was the assistant coach for.
Peace, have a happy New Year.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Bizarro world strikes again. Sens 4 Habs 2

Is it not puzzling to you all why in the one game that we actually keep pace with a team for two periods only to lose a game in regulation?
Positives from this game: Gionta came back and was a pest getting through the Defenseman and generating good scoring chances. Jaroslav Halak was incredibly solid, the only goals being when he was screened, and Benoit Pouliot had an excellent game scoring his first as a Hab.
Negatives: A lot. Marc Andre Bergeron's putrid Brain Shart that led to the Game Winning Goal. Yes it was a brain shart, not only was it a brain fart but because he resembles someone with sub par mental capabilities, he probably soiled himself. The Canadiens also could not generate ANYTHING in the third period.
Next up for the squad: Back 2 Back games in the sunshine state. Hopefully Carey Price will do the same Usain Bolt stance he pulled last year after beating the Lightning in a shootout.
Peace true believers,

Saturday, December 26, 2009

How the hell did we win that one? Habs 3 Leafs 2 OT

I am in a room full of Maple Leaf fans to start Overtime, the tension is as thick as (insert fat person joke here). My fellow viewers are in good spirit, their team has almost 50 shots and just missed the net with less than ten seconds to go. The overtime started and the Canadiens got the puck into the Leafs zone. "Well at least they're actually going to get a shot on net..." And then boom, a lame duck shot by Andrei Kostitsyn, and game over. The entire room in shock. The Maple Leaf supporters stunned that their team put in such a strong effort only to come away with it with one measly point, and the Canadiens fans in the room, well, we did not know how we even got a point in the first place.
As Raymond Babbitt would say, "Definitely, D-D-Definitely a shitty game". I could just end it there by saying "Well a win is a win" but this one deserves a little more rant.
A lot of idiot Canadiens fans think that we should trade Jaro Halak, one of them going as far as saying that we could "Get Jeff Carter". Straight up. No, I was not polling the Shot put Bronze Medalist at the Special Olympics. At least that guy would have a concept of the way sports work. My point is that at this point, with Jaroslav being the only thing that keeps us in games, we should pray he does not get dealt.
Well we are back in a playoff spot, with three games in the next week, it should be either a great way to gain momentum or a terrible way to lose it.
Props to Tommy Pleks and Andrei Markov once again for top notch performances, and of course Jaroslav Halak, who will PROOOOOBABLY be between the pipes Monday night versus the Senators.
Finally to round out my report, I was kind of bored watching Team Canada physically and mentally raping Team Latvia 16-0. And since there are no Canadiens prospects playing for Canada, I am just looking for Patrice Cormier to kill a poor swiss-man tomorrow given his recent history of dirty hits.
Peace True Believers,

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Tomas Plekanec is all man. Canadiens 5 Hurricanes 1

When I made fun of Pleks last year, it was only in the frustration of knowing that he was capable of having a 70 point season and being a contributing member of our second line.
How little did I know.
Now on pace for 90 points, Plekanec looks to be the highest scoring Canadiens player since Pierre Turgeon & Vincent Damphousse had 96 and 94 points respectively in 1995-1996. He also looks like an all star 1st line center, a role nobody thought he would ever come close to filling. He also has helped Mike Cammalleri's first season become a huge success as he could score 40 goals for the first time in his career, and Plekanec has also lit a fire under the pale ass of Andrei Kostitsyn after an almost unbearably slow start and is now starting to piece together a pretty respectable season. Finally tonight I was able to see the magic made between Plekanec and Andrei Markov, our all world defenseman. It is now clear to see the gargantuan difference Andrei makes for this team, relaxing our Powerplay that has been dynamite since his return, and making smart and crisp breakout passes.
I know it's easy to boast when we beat the worst team in the league, but these are the wins we need. If the Canadiens want to eliminate the hole they have dug, as they are a few points behind the East playoff teams with less games to play, they must keep beating Teams lower than them in the standings, and try to keep competing with the Washingtons, New Jerseys and Pittsburghs of the league.
Cautious optimism for the team, but all out written orgasm for Tommy Pleks. Keep it up buddy.
Peace true believers,

Monday, December 21, 2009

Queen Mab, our savior. Habs 4 Thrashers 3 OT

O, then, I see Queen Mab hath been with you.
She is the fairies' midwife, and she comes
In shape no bigger than an agate-stone

I don't know what that means, but god damn did we need that win. Maybe it's a testament to how much Marc Andre Bergeron resembles a special needs person, but there was something expected when he smashed into the post after scoring the game winning goal.
God bless you and your helmet wearing ways.
Nice win.
See you all Wednesday, Carolina, the debut of Benny Poo.
Peace true believers,

Sunday, December 20, 2009

The Return of the Russian!!!

Something tells me there will be more of this in Andrei Markov's future. Ovi however, looks like he's had a bit too much Stoli.
And he should get some jeans with not as many holes next time. He looks like he got in a Monkey fight with team mate Alex Semin. I know I've posted this video before, but one more time couldn't hurt.

What a relief, that after all the bad penalties the Canadiens took, and the one Powerplay we had where we almost got scored on Twice shorthanded, we come out with a win and Andrei Markov was a force, scoring two Powerplay goals. Let's hope he has a more comfortable night than Georges Laraque, who because of the lack of room at the hotel, had to share a room with Equipment Manager Pierre Gervais and the ENTIRE group of Canadiens Media. Hope Georges doesn't sleep fight.
Tonight on the tube: Two NHL games: Great Central Division between the Wings and Hawks, while the Blues and Canucks tee up in last years Conference Quarter Finals re-match. Full day of Football, including my Chargers taking on the Bengalsm in what will be an emotional game. Finally to round out your viewing pleasure, Team Canada's first World Junior Exhibition game versus Sweden, tonight at 8 pm on TSN.
Enjoy the holiday.

Friday, December 18, 2009


Gotta love that Beaker.
And those two asshole old guys.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

A Tribute To Chris Henry

I was just prepping for my beloved San Diego Chargers taking on the Bengals on Sunday, but after the untimely death of one of their players, I feel like I should be one of the millions who will give a public memoriam.
Chris Henry was a player who made a lot of mistakes, and I truly thought he was a lost cause who would never realize how to be a mature role model in sports. Over this past year Chris Henry and other troubled Bengals like Cedric Benson have seemed to try and make a turnaround in life. It is seems sad that when he had finally realized that things like family were more important than partying, he has his life taken away.
Hopefully other athletes who live a carefree lifestyle with no intrest in cleaning up their act should take this as a massive reality check and try to turn their lives around before it is too late.
Peace everyone, and take care of yourselves

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The most infuriating losing streak ever.

I could possibly deal with the Canadiens losing by hefty margins every game. At least I would know that we would have a shot at a lottery pick, but the last four games have (to paraphrase Peter Griffin) "Ground the fuck out of my gears".
All one goal games, all a product of the Canadiens inability to stay out of the Penalty box.
How much proof do we need that this is the reason we are losing games, seriously.
I truly believe this team has the talent to be a top 5 seed in this conference even without Markov and Gionta. If we would have won these four games and not gotten retarded penalties late, we would be looking at a team with 41 points, and tah dah! 5th seed in the East.
The Canadiens have immense potential to do something special this year, they have a 1st line that is producing and hard working checkers who do not quit on plays. Add that to a yeoman effort by Roman Hamrlik, the return of Andrei Markov one of the league's best D-Men and put it all in front of an inspired Carey Price who gives us a chance to win each game he starts, and we got a hell of a team. Right now the Canadiens Team is a Mercedes that was given by a Father to his stoner son who stains the leather seats with Wendy's wrappers when he gets the munchies for a Spicy Chicken Sandwich and fills it wit terrible low end gas.
Shit, I got to get myself to Wendy's one of these days. Love that sandwich.
Add this to Louis Leblanc getting cut from Team Canada, and it adds up to a pretty crappy week for Habs fans.
Oh by the way does anyone else find it funny that TSN is calling TSN 2 "the deuce"?
Stay positive.
Peace True Believers,

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Halak being shipped???

Rumors continue to swirl about the future of our back-up Goaltender, and today it was announced that Bob Gainey had been trying to send Jaro to Philadelphia. I know you don't really care about my input, but here it is anyway.
Jaro Halak is a good goaltender, is he a #1 Tender? I am not really sure, he has shown flashes of brilliance over the past three years, and is always consistent, but really has never hit the level of #1 Goaltender. Knowing that, I am not sure we should send him to a team if all we are getting back is a 2nd round pick, a generous return for a back-up but not going to help our team after we lose a reliable guy who will always give us a chance for a win.
If we can possibly package him to get a top six forward then that would be stupendous. I have confidence that Curtis Sanford could step in to play decently as an actual back-up and not as a 1B goalie like Halak, and with another top six forward to play on a line with possibly Gomez and Gionta, we could really compete for a spot in the Post-Season.
The only question is, who do we offer in a package?
It would be detrimental to trade another young top round player like P.K. Subban, so all signs lead to shipping away Sergei Kostitsyn, a head case who could use a change of scenery, but with his brother Andrei finally heating up, trading away his younger brother might not be the best option.
This situation is too over analyzed anyway, because there is a big chance Jaro might not be traded at all this year, so maybe we should just chill and let things play out.
But that's no fun, is it?

Monday, December 14, 2009

Markov Mystery

The case of the ever changing Slashed Tendon prognosis.
Seriously though, can Canadiens fans just keep it in their pants just this once...
He's playing tomorrow, he's playing in a week... he's never playing. Who the hell knows...
I just really hope that the media doesn't pressure the team to play him too early and something really serious happens.
Tonight the Canadiens take on the division leading Sabres, and they will try not to get walloped like last game against them. Jaro Halak will be between the pipes tonight that will give Carey Price some rest for the long streak of games the Habs have ahead.
Should be a barnburner...
Peace True Believers,

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Ref rape. Preview vs. Thrashers

Listen, I know Chris Lee is probably a good guy, and I know he probably did not intentionally want to screw the Canadiens Friday night versus the Penguins, but when your Team is playing in it's most important month, and every point counts, especially against the defending Champs, and you have exams on Monday and it is really cold outside, it REALLY pisses you off.

Anyways, the Canadiens take on the Thrashers tonight, and it looks like Andrei Markov is making huge steps towards his recovery from his Tendon Slice. Let's hope he's back soon and let's hope we don't get burned tonight and Carey Price bounces back from the bad goal he let up on Pascal Dupuis.
Gotta love Hockey on a Saturday night.
Peace True Believers.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

A blizzard of optimism. Habs 4 Sens 1

An accurate representation of the Sens Power Play last night.
Hardee freaking harr I know.
Well the weather outside is frightful
But watching the Canadiens beat teams even when they get out shot a billion to 13 is so delightful.
Since we've no place to go.
Let's not blow, let's not blow, let's not blow.
Get you all into the Christmas spirit.
It's great to see both our Goalies put in a great effort and our #1 Center and our Star Winger ACTUALLY PLAY like a #1 Center and a Star Winger.
Still, I cannot get truly excited about this team until they beat a Tier One team like the Pittsburgh Penguins, if they ever get a flight into the City.
One of the best things about Mike Cammalleri, is his humor.
When Cammalleri said "Lets' hope they only show up with 5 minutes before the game without any practice" I thought about the time when my Teacher was late the day of the test and I thought to myself "Gee, I really hope she only shows up with 5 minutes left and doesn't have enough time to give us the exam", is it a good thing that Mike Cammalleri has the same mentality of a 16 year old. Who the hell cares, he's going to score 40 goals this year.
I hope this storm keeps going so class is cancelled and I do not have to write that History essay tomor... damn I'm doing it again.
Peace True Believers.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Double Double

I'm going to quickly recap the game last night, tee up the game tonight and hit you up with a little bit of news around the League.
Do I spoil you or what?
13 shots on net. Not pretty, but I'll sure as hell take it. Carey Price continues to look good, Scrappy Coco and the great Jewtalian are still tearing it up, and Queen Mab shows at least he's worth something scoring his sixth of the year.
Tonight! We take on the Sens, last time we played Alex Kovalev gave us a little reminder of the talent we had. The talent that showed up every three games, complained about the coaches, took a week off and THEN wanted to be captain. Anyway Eugene Melnyk has already called him out along with Jason Spezza as the Senators are in the midst of a mediocre season and some bad luck. Poor Pascal Leclaire, he never saw that lil' bastard coming. If the Canadiens win, they will finally be back in a Playoff spot and over .500. Which leads me to believe we're going to lay quite a big goose egg.
I keed I keed.
That's it for now.
Y'all have fun now

Saturday, December 5, 2009

This team confuses me. Canadiens 5 Bruins 1

Before the game last night, Montrealers were expecting the worse. The formula was a recipe for disaster.
A) Play for the second night in the row after getting spanked 6-2.
B) Playing the Boston Bruins, our bitter rival who would love nothing more than to ruin the Canadiens' 100th Birthday Party
C) Having a 2 hour pre-game ceremony that would surely take all intensity away from the Canadiens.
During the incredible opening of the ceremony, where Habs legends of the past skated in full unifrom and took shots on fully padded Patrick Roy and Ken Dryden, I made some jokes that we would probably be better off with this version of aged legends instead of our regular team, and hell, Yvan Cournoyer still has some mad wheels! I even went as far as shouting out "Play him instead of Bergeron!" When Emile "Butch" Bouchard came out to retire his #3. Yes, I believed that a 90 year old in a wheelchair would fare better than our current blue liners.
But then the game started. And once the second rolled around, I was more bewildered then ol' George Dubya in a chess game.
I am ecsatic about the way the team played last night, but I do not understand why they cannot put this effort in every game. They are professionals, it is their job to be good at Hockey. You wouldn't pay the guy who mows your lawn $7 M a year just because his name is also Gomez.
I hope the Canadiens can ride the momentum of finally being freed from the painfully long Centennial Celebrations and not feel like they are inmates just because those retarded Babershop Jerseys look like Prison garbs.
I'm happy. But I'm sure as hell that all the analysts were more shocked last night then when Brendan Burke came out.
And in all seriousness, if his Dad wanted to show he was tolerant towards Gay people, why on earth did he trade Jiri Tlusty?
Pops to Coach Obrand for that good one.
Great game boys, keep it up.
Peace True Believers,

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Tossing the CHIP bowl.

I make a funny in light of a god awful team performance last night.
Yet another promising prospect that did not live up to expectations.
Kyle Chipchura, captain of the 2006 World Junior Hockey Team that won Gold, with Guillame Latendresse riding the bench, psycho Steve Downie leading in scoring, and now Ducks AHL Teammate Justin Pogge in net, was traded to Anaheim for a 4th round draft pick.
He is the fifth former First round pick to leave the team this year, along with Saku Koivu, Mike Komisarek, Chris Higgins & Ryan McDonagh. This fuels the fire that maybe "Draft Guru" Trevor Timmins might not be all that he is cracked up to be.
Maybe Chips would have had a future with the Canadiens had he not suffered a tremendous tendon injury in Junior, but life is a bitch that way. It comes up and smacks you in the nose when you least expect it.
Happy Trails Chipper,
Hope you get to ride Splash Mountian in Disneyland.
That ride is cool.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Too many men fail LOL

I'm not an English Teacher, but I'm pretty sure this is Irony at it's simplest form.
Anyway not much going on on the Canadiens front, so this is all that is going on right now.
Fun game, nice to see that there will be a Parade this year.
But until the Canadiens take that faithful drive down Ste. Catharines, it is still a hollow victory.
Great job Als and whoever that guy in locker room whose towel fell off, please, there are children watching.
Peace, and go Als

Saturday, November 28, 2009


Give kudos to the Canadiens, who many thought were going to be beaten worse than Tiger was by his wife.
Low blow.
I know.
Even though we did not get the extra point, I am very happy with this team's effort. We are playing without Gomez, without Gionta, without both Andreis, without Gill and without Benny Poo (My new name for Pouliot). Somehow we were able to get a point against the best team in the Eastern Conference.
I have a new name for Tomas Plekanec, taking in the facts that he plays a hard nosed, never say die game, and that he used to be a pansy his new nickname is Scrappy Coco from the classic You Don't Mess with the Zohan.
Disco and Hummus jokes to come.
Take this loss as a partial victory my friends.
Cheer on the Als tomorrow, Montreal needs at least one team to win a championships this year.
And no, the Impact do not fucking count.
Damn Europeans...
Peace True Believers,

Game Preview: Hockey Night in the AHL!

That is a reference to the fact that Pyatt, White, Wyman and company have played more games here this season than Hamilton.
The game tonight against the Washington Capitals will be an intresting, because it will be interesting to see if we can stay in the game for a full 60 minutes.
It will be interesting to see if the probable returns of Spacek and D'Agostini will help boost the teams morale.
It will be interesting to see if the Gorges Cammalleri scrap sparks those two to do something special.
Aaaand finally, it will be interesting to see if Alex the Gr8 gets the better of Carey Price, or will the Canadien Cowboy get the last laugh.
All of these questions, and more will be answered.
I've always wanted to say that.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Entertaining Game. Habs top Jackets 5-3.

The first game of the A.G. era (After Gui!) era started off with a win, Carey Price made some show stopping saves, Tommy Boy Plekanec continues to rack up nthe points, and Sergei Kostitsyn a.k.a The Scarecrow (If he only had brain...) made a genereally triumphant return to the Bell Centre, playing hard nosed and setting up Maxim Lapierre's insurance marker in the third period.
Is it just me, or did that shot kind of represent Mad Max firing all of his frustration and futility plus a little bit of his buddy Gui's topless magazine spread into the net? I dunno if that's too deep for some Hab fans, but I think it sounds good.
We are now one game above five hundred for the first time in god knows how long.
Woohoo! We're #10! We're #10!
The Canadiens now get to take on the top two teams in conference as they head to steel town tonight and then head back home to host the Caps on Saturday. Washington will be looking for revenge after dropping a tight one last Friday.
Aha, dropping a tight one.
You readers are slow lucky that you are reading the blog from one of Montreal's true sport intelligentsia.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Start of a new era???

Probably not.
But a win would be nice.
Some game notes close to puck drop, J.T. Wyman has been called up to the big club and will play in the suspended Georges Laraque's place on the fourth line tonight along with Kyle Chipcura and the newly called up Sergei Tit'syn.
Game on!

Monday, November 23, 2009

The death of Gui!

Your nips might get a lil' cold in Minny bud.
Well Bob Gainey took his in house cleaning to a new step trading disgruntled fan favorite Guillame Latendresse to the Minnesota Wild for hulking underachiever Benoit Pouliot.
Pouliot was selected 4th overall in 2005, just a spot ahead of Carey Price.
Imagine the nightmare if we had the chance to draft him. Ugh.
Pouliot has been considered one of the bigger draft busts of the last 10 years, just a little less than the great Patrik Stefan. He has been in and out of the minor leagues and has a mere four points in his first fourteen games of the season which would be alright, if he wasn't chosen only three spots after Sidney Crosby...
Benoit Pouliot is not the answer, he might just be another problem, but you have to hope a change of scenery can do well for him.
Meanwhile Gui, I do not put you at fault for your issues. When you have 23,000 Neanderthals chanting your name as an eighteen year old in the PRESEASON, and the team decided to bypass letting you evolve fully in junior and the AHL, it's hard not to have a little bit of on ice issues.
Hopefully you hit your stride in Minnesota and this trade was what you needed. Happy trails my man.
Oh and uh Benny...
Welcome to the fucking jungle.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Half n' Half Review & Preview.

So since there is another Canadiens game tonight, I am going to tee up that game as well as talk about yesterday's nail biter in the nation's capital. The Canadiens played scrappy last night, and played maybe 45 minutes of good hockey but the Capitals then took complete control and led an all out offensive where they were able to get one goal on a Brendan Morrison rebound. Kudos is due to Jaroslav Spacek and Roman Hamrlik who have stepped up incredibly since Andrei Markov's crippling injury. Carey Price continues to show all the haters why they should not be talking about Hockey with his inspired play and Tomas "Transamerica" Plekanec has shown that even someone who just underwent a sex change can be a man.
The Habs take on the Red Wings tonight, who just suffered a 2-1 Overtime loss versus the Florida Panthers last night. They will be out for blood and I beg of you Canadiens. DO NOT take this Detroit team lightly. They still have the all-world talent of Zetterberg, Datsyuk and Lidstrom out for them. They still are the reigning Western Conference Champions and 2008 Stanley Cup Champions, they can still come out and beat a team 5-0. I assume Jaroslav Halak will be starting tonight, so he has to get out to a good start and not let his long break come back to hurt him.
Get ready boys n' gals, the Habbies are playing well. But they have to take the next step.
Peace True Believers,

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Shoot Out Merk. Canes 2 Habs 3

Can people please stop being douches to Carey Price. It's bad enough he has the Canadiens playing in front of him.
Yes, I know, I'm fucking witty.
Seriously though, how long before the idiots in this town accept Mr. Price, how long before they realize that your career will not be over just because you give up 6 goals one game.
Did anyone else feel inspired after that second to last save in the shoot out, where after pulling his glove back, Price puffed his chest out like a prizefighter almost saying to the Bell Centre crowd "Are you not entertained?!?!"
This is the Price we wanted to see. Hopefully it stays this way for a while.
Some notes about the team, Gionta is out indefinitely with a broken bone in his foot, while O'Byrne and Laraque are set to make their returns in the next few games.

Sunday, November 15, 2009


You have got to be fucking kidding me.
53 saves and the team in front of him decides to not play.
The guy who has been crapped on all season, when he has not deserved it, makes half a century of saves in one game. And because of the team in front of him, he loses. This is the angriest I have ever been as a Canadiens Fan.
You better score 5 goals next game. Because no one deserves what Carey Price just went through.
Tonight actually made me sick.
If I can say anything positive, it is that I want to extend my sincere apologies to Carey.
If you are somehow reading this, I want to tell you that I have supported you since day one. Every time someone has criticized you, or bitch about not drafting Anze Kopitar instead just because to start the season he is leading the league in scoring (news flash Jack Todd, before you put out an article about how we'd be better off with Kopitar, consider that last year Aaron fucking Voros was leading the league in scoring a month in) I would always tell them that you have the potential to be a star. And if tonight was a demonstration of that, then you have a hell of future. But it seems that the team in front of you, much like the fans in this god forsaken town like seeing brilliant potential fizzle and burn in front of their eyes. I don't know why Hockey Schadenfreude gets Montrealers off this much, but I look on these people with the utmost disdain.
There is some tragedy that in reality, if Carey Price was in any American market right now, he would have been nurtured and brought up correctly and not have to make 53 saves in a losing effort. The problem is not him, the problem is not even Bob Gainey, who by the way Eklund, is not "too old school for today's NHL". Is it old fashioned to believe that the basis of a successful team is Goaltending and to draft a guy who turns out to win in every Junior level? Is it old school to believe that it's better to sign character locker room guys who can play 82 games rather to hang on to older wishy washy veterans who need three game vacations to regain their scoring touch? It't not that we were better off with Kovalev and Koivu, it's the fact that we are so snobby as hockey fans that we believe that anyone who has played more than a season with our "storied" franchise must be good. So we berate Gainey for getting rid of Begin, Bouillon and Dandenault who overall were USELESS for out hockey club, and criticize initially the acquisitions of Mara, Metropolit and our new top line, even though they bring a good presence to our team without any negative after taste.
The problem with our team, is the fans and media. That's right.
How is this team going to grow if every time we hit a road bump, which news flash, EVERY TEAM DOES, Pittsburgh DID fire their coach the year they won the cup, instead of supporting the team and finding positives to build on, the fans and columnists call for an upheaval just because somehow they expected 82 victories this season.
This team will not change for the better until the viewers change for the better. Will that ever happen?
Who knows...
Peace true believers (If they are truly any out there)

Friday, November 13, 2009

Party in the desert. Habs 4 Coyotes 2

Carey seems to like it.
This was a game that took me by surprise. The Canadiens won. Strange. The Canadiens won in regulation. Weirder. The Canadiens won in regulation, scoring 4 goals and getting a solid effort from the Goaltender... Where the hell am I? 1979?
I have to praise the work of Tomas Plekanec, who has officially completed the gender transformation process that was publicized by Chaz Bono recently, and has been playing like a man. Although Queen MAB skates less smoothly than Michael J Fox on a bad day and plays worse Defense than the French Army, gotta give him props for ONE HELL of a snipe.
You have to feel bad for Carey Price, time after time getting awful bounces, including the first goal of the night by Robert Lang where Carey was tomahawked in the neck by Paul Mara and fell to the ground.
Jaro Spacek left the game last night and did not return, if this is serious, it will be 4 out of or 7 starting Defenceman out with injury.
Well we still got some hope, Coach Obrand says hi.
Peace True Believers,

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Coyotes Habs... Come on......

Could not score a friggin goal.
Well maybe 12 months ago a game against the lowly Phoenix Coyotes would have been a breath of fresh air, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
They have to learn how to play hockey all of a sudden.
This team.... I need a drink.
Coach Martin will name his starter later today, and really it is not going to matter if the Offense does not show up.
Say some yiddish prayers for the Canadiens.
We need a win.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Flames vs. Canadiens Our saviour has truly arrived.

Make Way! The Newest Canadien is the second coming of Butch Bouchard, a rock on the blue line that will put us over the top.
Ladies and Gentlemen...
Just thought we need some humor.
This team is incredibly different from the squad we were looking at before the season opener against Toronto Maple Leafs. We've called up alot of Bulldogs and signed a couple people who probably would not have been signed had we not faced some injury issues.
Halak will get the start tonight, and we should all distinguish the difference between Jaro Halak, who is a hard working Goalie just trying to win, and his slime ball piece of dung agent Allan Walsh. Because as much as I do not think Carey Price is playing well, I am genuinely disgusted in Walsh's comments as taking a cheap shot at a 22 year old and then denying the statements later by deleting the quote from his twitter.
Anyway enough about steaming pieces of crap.
Andrei Kostitsyn will be starting on the first line tonight, team leading scorers Plekanec and Cammalleri will play together on the second line with Max Lapierre, and new addition Jay Leach will start on the third pairing with Queen MAB. He hopes to be a non factor in the sense that he does not want to make a negative imprint on the team. If only Marc Andre thought the same way...
Last but not least, I want to commend Mike Cammalleri for his for program "Cammy' Heroes" supporting the troops. Whether troops should or should not be in Afghanistan right now, I am one of the strongest supporters of our troops in all their endeavors.
Enjoy the game tonight, and the special centennial jerseys that do not give you screaming migraines.
Peace True Believers,

Friday, November 6, 2009

Canadiens 2 Bruins 1 SO Someone call Bob Barker...


Carey sez: What? Those idiots in Montreal are blaming ME for Bergeron's goal? Like it's bad enough Zdeno Chara sits on me, are the Bruins that desperate for offense that they think lifting the net up and putting it under will fool the refs.
I'm like a freaking half native Rodney Dangerfield, I get less respect than Jon Fucking Gosselin. And that guy's more of a douche than Bertrand Raymond and Darren Dreger put together. I guys people are going to say that Im off the Vodka Bottle or something, or hey, maybe make a joke about me and underage girls on St. Lawrence on Saturday Nights, I can take it. So what if I speak with the emotion of Ben Stein on Valium, I'm back baby, and there's not a god damn thing those Bloodthirsty Jackals can do about it.
Suck it Petit Tigre.

Just thought you would appreciate that.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

BROONS vs Canadiens. Somethings gotta give.

Tonight les Habbies look to add to the Bostn Bruins losing streak when the two original six teams clash on Thursday Night Hockey.
The Canadiens have been violated in the butt by injuries lately, and they will suit up tonight with Ryan White and Tom Pyatt will make their Canadiens' debut tonight while Brian Gionta is a game time decision. Carey Price will get another chance for a win tonight after being thrown to the (former Chiacgo) wolves Tuesday night versus the Thrashers. The Bruins will be without the services of David Krejci tonight, as he has swine. HAHA.
A big effort is needed tonight.
Aouais les boys,

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Hung up to dry. Thrashers 5 Canadiens 4

Really a frustrating game, no matter what you think of this team, anyone who believes that Carey Price did not play well is just wrong. He has been bad these last two years. Very bad, but last night was not one of those nights. Besides the knuckler from Mark Popovic that somehow found the back of the net, the Thrashers goals were products of a collapsed and ineffective D corps for Montreal. Brian Gionta missed practice today, Hal Gill will be out 3 weeks, and we have called up Ryan White and Tom Pyatt from Hamilton.
Safe to say a win against the Broons would be a serious kick in the ass for our morale.
But if my mother had balls she would be my father, who happened to make very good banana cake.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Game Preview Thrashers vs. Habs

The Canadiens are finally back in action tonight as they take on the Atlanta Thrashers at 7:30. La Tricolore have been terrific at home, where they have won 5 straight in the friendly confines of the Bell Centre and tonight Carey Price hopes to get back in the saddle and finally gain some momentum.
If I am Management I will watch this game and not look at whether Carey wins or loses to decide if he plays against the Bruins on Thursday, but rather look at whether he plays with confidence and poise.
Enjoy the game lads and lassies, and say some sort of tribal healing prayer for our depleted blue line, as we have lost yet another D Man to injury, as Hal Gill is out indefinitely. Mathieu Carle will take his place and will definitely get some decent playing time tonight, as he is the only right handed shot on our back end.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Gross but okay... Habs 5 Leafs 4 OT

Happy post Halloween morning boys and girls.
I hope you all said BOO last night when Mike Komisarek returned to the Bell Centre.
Another awful awful win last night that ended up with two points. Just another indication of what this season will look like. Once again I was more than disappointed that Carey Price did not play tonight, I feel that this was a great chance to regain his confidence, instead he is benched AGAIN after a loss where he did everything imaginable to win that game when the team in front of him was sub par. I well fought game against Chicago could have sparked Price to a decisive, regulation win last night against Toronto, shut the door against Atlanta on Tuesday, and maybe start and incredible streak. Instead he will start from scratch again with no possible momentum.
My one problem with this team, other than that, everything is expected.
Peace True Believers,

Friday, October 30, 2009

Sidney Crosby is very good player. So are the Blackhawks.

I will be attending Jay - Z at the Bell Centre tonight so I will not be able to catch the game at the United Center. Carey Price will finally get a start in net, and I am afraid it might too a few games too late.
I love the acquisition made by the Canadiens this year, but the one I don't agree with is Coach Martin's choice to play the Goaltenders through streaks, as the one on the bench could become cold after not seeing action for an extended period of time.
Only time will tell if it works out.
Enjoy the game,
Peace True Believers,

Monday, October 26, 2009

Game Eleven Islanders 2 Canadiens3 OT: FAB FOUR WINNING STREAK

Uglier than Kathleen Turner as Sue Collini on Californication, uglier than Bruce Villanch in a bikini, uglier than... well you catch my drift.
Two points is two points, I will never deny that. For the first time, the Canadiens did not have to rely on the Smurfs for offense, as Jaroslav Spacek scored his first as a Canadien, Travis Moen kept up his amazing gritty yet offensively dynamic play and Roman Hamrlik tried his best to compensate for the early season loss of Andrei Markov by scoring his third of the season after Tomas Plekanec made an INSANE move to get into the Isles zone, much like the Great Jewtalian's heroic rush on Saturday night.
There were still a lot of negatives however.
The Canadiens took more than one "Too Many Men" penalties, which is just unacceptable. The Game would not have gone to overtime had the Isles not had 7 power plays to work with.
Andrei Kostitsyn is starting to really try my patience as a fan. One of my faithful readers Boomer came up with perfect nickname for the Tit brothers. Boomer decided to call them "Tinman and Scarecrow" as much like the legendary Wizard of Oz characters, one of them needs a heart while the other needs a friggin' brain. I'm sure you could guess which one is which.
I should not complain that much though, as we have won 4 straight and finally regained our winning record. I do ask one thing, Montreal Canadiens. When we take on the Penguins Thursday night, I think it would be smart to let Carey Price play. He always works hard against Sid the Kid and company and a win against the Beasts of the East could give him some huge confidence.
Peace true believers,

Game Preview #11 Islanders vs. Canadiens

Groundhog day for Montreal, that of course is a reference to the Bill Murray film where he relives the same day over and over again. Seems a little odd that the Habs entertain the Islanders at the Bell Centre for the second time in a week? But this is the same league that moved a Saturday game in Vancouver to 4 P.M. local time against the worst team in the league, so go figure.

These are not the Canadiens of two weeks ago, they seem determined and the first line has turned into one of the most exciting Canadiens trios in recent memory. Who remembers the Special K Line in the 2004 playoffs? (Zednik-Koivu-Kovalev). Why did they call it the Special K line? Maybe it was because it had two players whose names started with K and then a retarded Slovakian who never kept two hands on his stick...
But hey, Zednik is putting up respectable numbers, 6 points in 10 games this year. With Yarsolavl Lokomotiv...

Some game notes:
  • Fresh off their hard working game against the Rangers, Matt D'Agostini and Guillaume Latendresse will play on the second line with Tomas Plekanec.
  • This of course means that Andrei Kostisyn will be demoted. To the fourth line. Personally I have not seen any indication of talent from him this year and believe it is time to ship him and his no-show of a brother out of town. But I mean hey, I guess he makes some nice dekes, and he doesn't get injured, because he runs away when people try to hit him... So I guess he's alright.
  • Jaro Halak will get his fourth straight start tonight, I have no problems with that, my only concern is that Carey Price does not get rusty sitting on the bench, as one slow start will only fuel the flames to the already out of hand "Goalie Controversy" the Blood Thirsty Jackals have fabricated.
That's it for now, there are some other games of note tonight, as the Leafs look for their first win of the season yet again, this time visiting the Ducks in South Cali. The Hawks and Wild hook up tonight as Marty Havlat plays his former team for the first time, and the surprisingly hot Phoenix Coyotes take on the Rangers who are fresh from their lesson on goalscoring from the Great Jewtalian, Mike Cammalleri.

Enjoy your Monday evening,

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Game Ten Rangers 4 Canadiens 5 OT: JEWTALIAN POWER!!!

Well Lechaim and Salud to all of you, the Canadiens just won not only the game last night, but possibly the hearts of some of the skeptical Habs fans who thought that this first line was too small to generate offense.
This was one of those games that can turn a season around and be a turning point for a team. For all of you who thought that Mike Cammalleri was not living up to his signing...
Try those words with Steak Sauce, it'll make them taste better.
Was Jaro Halak good? He played well.
Did he steal a game and should be cemented as the Habs starter? Sorry all you poop-disturbers. I think Price is still the longterm #1. Now he just has to win a game...
With the Smurf line, we get consistent scoring for the first time since, um... the Lafleur era?
Seriously though, how many times last year were you frustrated when Kovalev was red hot then ice cold, Koivu hadn't scored a goal in 20 games and Tanguay was on the shelf... Our first line is made up of three guys who always play at least 75 games, and look to be producing at a reliable rate that seem to make the difference every night.
How about that, a Canadiens team with some stability.
We are in uncharted waters, it's pretty friggin' sweet.
Peace true believers,

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Game Preview #10 Rangers vs. Canadiens

Some little game notes before puck drop.
Game is only on CBC Montreal and RDS. Those baby eating individuals in Toronto decided to actually make Canuck fans go see a game a 4 PM Pacific Time, just so it will be on at 7 in Ontario so the entire country could watch the winless Maple Leafs yet again.
Well... at least we still have Bob Cole, who USED to do National games before he started losing control of his bowels...
Anyway. The Canadiens look for their third straight win, to get back to .500 and try to get back in the Eastern Conference fold. Look for Jaro Halak to start tonight, but in no way does this mean that he is our new #1, but he is damn hot, and Bob Gainey would be have to be smoking some pretty hard core hydro not to start him tonight.
Enjoy the game, and don't boo Chirs Higgins tonight, it is not his fault he only has two points and no goals so far this year, well, maybe it is...
Peace True Believers,

Thursday, October 22, 2009

ALMOST PERFECT! Isles 1 Canadiens 5

Yeah... this picture will probably send me to hell...
But I'm in too good of a mood to be bothered by Satan's fiery Kingdom right about now.
Yes I know that was against a team who only won their first game last night, and it is early in the season and we still have a sub-.500 record... But you have to to like the effort the Canadiens put in tonight.
Outshooting the opponent? Check.
Scoring more than 2 goals? Checkilicous.
Powerplay scoring? Wow, really? Check!
Goaltending? Well minus a personal gaffe from Jaro behind the net, it's a big fat CHECK.

Marc Andre Bergeron scored a goal, this is the same guy who dropped his stick last night... it did not break, it did not get caught on anything... he just... dropped it. Like those cute little termite players. Yes, I am comparing Marc Andre Bergeron to a termite player, a termite player who carries around a Rocket Launcher. Damn was that shot hard.

Does this mean we are a new team and should annihilate the Rangers on Saturday?

It does mean we have some brand new confidence. And maybe Carey Price will be inspired by his fellow net minder to put in a stellar performance.

Great win, gotta love those midgets.
Peace true believers,

Useless Sergei Tits update.

Well it looks like Stits has bolted from the Candiens YET again, this time it seems like it is the final hissy fit that his Soviet ass will throw.
My NHL insider Bonghit sent me an intresting but hilariously grammatically incorrect translation of a French Article that states that Sergei Kostitsyn got in an altercation with the New Canadien after Gomez invited the young Belarussian to drinks with his friends.
I can't really say that I give a rat's ass...
I had really wished Gomez and his posse would have curb stomped that child like looking pansy.
But that's just my opinion...
Or... maybe we could lock him in a room with Mikhail Grabovski with nothing more than their panty liners, and have them bitch slap each other to death

Peace True Believers,

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The unofficial Captain saves the day. Thrashers 1 Canadiens 2 SO.

The littlest Hab-o Brian Gionta displayed an all out display of skill and tenacity last night, if only we could say the same for everyone who wasn't on the first line last night...
A win is a win, and it did not come at the cost of losing one of our defenseman.
Here are my positives and negatives of the game.
POSITIVE: A win... a glorious two points. The first one in over 266 days. That's actually ludicrous.

NEGATIVE: Ugly once again. Marc Andre Bergeron should not have finished the game in my opinion, you take a defender whose defensive skills are already weak, then multiply it by a Colby Armstrong smack to the head and you get... the Thrashers tying goal. For pete's sake, keep MAB away from Hall Gill at all times, lord knows what kind of shenanigans will go down in the Canadiens zone.

POSITIVE: Jaroslav Halak played very well, especially in the shootout. He was calm cool and collected as he stared down Ilya Kovlachuk, arguably the second most dangerous player in the league, he made some key saves even when the team in front of him played suspect at times.

NEGATIVE: Jaroslav Halak played very well, especially in the shootout. Let's hear how many pulp articles show up in the next few days calling for Halak as the new starting goalie, only to change their mind the next time he loses a game. I feel for Jaro, he could be a starter on maybe 10-15 teams in this league, including the Canadiens! But Carey Price has shown flashes of absolute brilliance that trump the consistency and "verygoodness" of Halak, at least for now... Price was the reason for our first two wins, absolutely stealing those games right out of the hands of Buffalo and Toronto, if he puts in a good performance in a winning effort tomorrow night versus the Isles, then this debate will be put to rest yet again. If he falters however, we might have the ever popular "Goaltender Controversy" that seems to pop up in EVERY city around the league EVERY time a backup wins a game...

NEXT UP: Tavares and the Islanders invade the Bell Centre, as of 9:41 PM tonight they have not won a game yet, so of course they will beat the Canadiens right! :D
Seriously though, we could actually ride this momentum to achieve something productive. Well, I think we can...
Peace true believers,

Monday, October 19, 2009

Queen Mab makes his debut tomorrow night. Thrashers vs. Habs preview

A fan shows his love in this new wallpaper dedicated to the Newest Canadien and probable LSD hallucination, Marc-Andre Bergeron.
Some Shakespeare based humor could do us good today, after the Artiste put us to shame on Saturday night.
Yes, Alex Kovalev scoring the insurance marker in the third period was one of the more humiliating moments I have experienced as a Canadien fan. Well, that and the entirety of Pierre Dagenais' career...
We are going to have to bounce back, the Canadiens were controlling the play in the first on Saturday night, and let's face it, the Atlanta Thrashers are not going to challenge for the President's trophy anytime soon, ESPECIALLY if the rumors are true and Ilya Kovalchuk bolts from the NHL after his contract expires next summer and signs in the KHL.
What do we need for the Canadiens to break this ugly slump?
Go back to basics boys.
Peace True Believers

Thursday, October 15, 2009

My problem with some Montrealers.

I can see the comments now.
"The Canadiens suck, we are not going to win a game!"
"Carey Price is terrible, Jeff Hackett wouldn't have let up 3 goals!"
Tonights home opening 3-2 loss was one that could've been avoided, but this early in the season we can still look at the positives.
People are yelling for change and we're only 6 games in, I actually heard someone say today that they were hoping the Canadiens lost so the Molsons could fire Bob Gainey quicker.
Where do you get your Meth Amphetamine sir, because it seems to be working quite well...
This town is turning on a team WITHOUT it's best player. This town is turning on a Goaltender who has stood on his head save for one game against Vancouver. Please tell me how any of these goals tonight were his fault.
I dare you.
Say to my face that he should have covered up his pads on the first goal to not let the puck trickle in, tell me to my face that the puck bouncing off two Hab players had no effect on Price's ability to stop that puck.
"Oh, well he should have quick enough reflexes to snag that puck that hit off Shawn Belle, I mean, he was picked #5 overall.."
"Well he's made a save when the guy has had an open net before, why couldn't he just have done that to Ryan O'Reilly, when Scott Gomez was too preoccupied proving to the Ref that he was elbowed rather than cover the man who sneaked in front of the net. ALONE."
Take away the Vancouver 7-1 loss, and we have had one goal games in EVERY game of the season. Almost every question surrounding this team has been answered, many of them positive.
1. Have secondary scoring? Tomas Plekanec leads our team in scoring, and today Andrei Kostitsyn finally peeked his head out and decided he was going to be the talented Russian we knew 2 years ago.

2. Puck Possession? The shots were 31 to 23 and the Avalanche were only able to score through deflections by our own players and one gaffe by Scott Gomez.

3. Goaltending? Any one who says Carey Price is struggling will get a boot to the face. Seriously, forget about his faux pas in BC, and he has a Save percentage of .904, and a Goals Against of 2.5. I know, I know, WHY SHOULDN'T WE COUNT THE GAME AGAINST VANCOUVER, THAT WAS IMPORTANT AND SINCE PRICE DIDN'T WIN HE SUCKS.

E: Roberto Luongo has the same GAA as Price, and the same amount of losses. So um, he sucks?


I am not doubting that Bobby Lu will bounce back from his beginning of the year troubles, I hope to god he does, I have him in my pool... I just think that it's a little early to be calling for the pitchforks and torches and you are not a correct hockey fan if you think Carey Price is not playing well.

This team has answered many troublesome questions, and all the parts of a great squad are here, we just haven't gotten the wins yet.

Do I think we will bounce back soon and finish first. Hell no. Do I think we will stabilize in time to clinch a low playoff seed? Well that sounds a lot more realistic. This is going to be an uphill climb all the way, and I have heard so much garbage from fans around the league about Why their team "sucks because they started out 1-3" or why their team is "going to the finals because they scored 5 goals in a game". We have to give this some time, this is an incredibly new team and a transition is not going to happen overnight. People say "Oh well the preseason should have solved that!" The preseason usually showcased HALF NHL caliber players and HALF AHL players without our top six fowards playing all at the same time. How is Mike Cammalleri going to mesh with Andrei Kostitsyn right away if he played his Exhibition games on the wing with Ben Maxwell?
It is so easy to be negative right now.
We get it, you are going to sound edgy and opinionated.
You want to be part of a mob mentality because as a child you were never included in group activities because you usually ate Play-Doh.
I understand your pain...
But know this. I am watching you closely, and when OR if the Canadiens make a strong push for the playoffs and if it does happen that we pull a great upset and go into a far round, I will hold a party, with yummy finger foods and refreshing beverages, and who knows, maybe a stripper in a cake...
When you come to the door of this party, because hey, you change your mind quicker than Anne Heche and suddenly love the Canadiens, I promise you will not be welcomed in. Instead, a big sign will hang from my door, and a message will read above a large picture of me giving you the finger.
It will read:


Saturday, October 10, 2009

2009 - 2010 Game Preview. GAME 5. Canadiens vs. Oilers

Greetings from Hogtown! And happy Thanksgiving Canada. Like Robin Sherbotsky of How I Met Your Mother says, this is the REAL Thanksgiving!
To the game...
The Canadiens (2-2-0) look to end off their season starting road trip with a win as they play the Edmonton Oilers (1-1-1) tonight. To all attending the game, wear a sweater for pete's sake, as it has already been snowing in Northern Alberta. Depressing. I know...

Game Notes:
Glen Metrosexual will be sitting out tonight's tilt with bruised ribs he looks to be able to play in the Canadiens Home Opener versus Colorado next Thursday. Carey Price will be starting tonight despite the call for him to be stoned by the Montreal Media. Sheldon Souray will not be playing tonight, which is a sigh of relief for the Canadiens Penalty Kill which ranks 29th in the league and has been just horrendous.

Keys to Victory: First of all, all Canadiens fans have to realize that to make the Playoffs this year, we're going to have to play an ugly but close game every night, anyone who expects us to blow out opponents is a moron, but anyone who gives this team crap for winning 3-2 in Overtime while getting outshout should take a reality check. This is how we are going to pull off wins, it ain't pretty but it's what's going to have to be done. Let's hope for the best today.

Peace True Believers,

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Game Four: Canadiens 1 well let's not dwell on this...

You all saw it... not the best game...
Have some faith, I already heard some of you, AAAND the Jackals jump on the "OMG WE SUCK LIKE WOW WE SUCK LIKE IT'S INSANE HOW MUCH WE SUCK" bandwagon. Take a breather guys. It was one game. Today is a new day. We're going to be alright.
Peace true believers,

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


.As you can see from this very descriptive and abstract photograph, there were many positives and negatives from yesterday's loss.

POSITIVE #1: The Canadiens finally showed some of the "Puck Possession" game that Jacques Martin was trying to preach at the start of the season. They were moving the puck up well and seemed to be skating with the Flames.

NEGATIVE #1: The penalty kill, was um... well let's just call it stanky... Special teams will have to be worked on.

POSITIVE #2: The First line is generating incredible chances every time they touch the puck and Scott Gomez's first period goal was a thing of beauty.

NEGATIVE #2: Aside from Tomas Plekanec, the secondary scoring players like Kostitsyn and Pacioretty have been... um... super stanky as well. We did not have a power play last night so it was not seen if Yannick Weber's presence is effective or if we need to call up MAB. (Marc-Andre Bergeron).

The Canadiens play the Canucks tonight at 10 ET, Carey Price returning to his home province. Look for an inspired effort, the Canucks are 0-3 and as much as I would like Roberto Luongo to win and get me some points in my Fantasy League, my heart is hoping that he lets up a few more softies en route to a Canadiens victory.
Peace True Believers,


The Canadiens have signed PP specialist Marc-Andre Bergeron to a deal worth $750,000. Bergeron has a rocket of a shot but will start out his Canadiens career in Hamilton. He will try to bloster the blueline after the losses of O'Byrne and Markov.

Jaro Halak will be starting in goal tonight, making my points of "Price playing well" totally invalid. Carey will now have the chance to play in Vancouver, his home region, for the first time as a pro.

That's all for now.

2009 - 2010 Game Preview. GAME 3. Canadiens vs. Flames

This pretty Swiss girl is hoping that her compatriot Yannick Weber can help out a battered and bruised Canadian team as they get ready to take on the Calgary Flames at 9 pm ET. In this all Canadian showcase, both teams are 2-0-0 but on two very different levels. The Flames are a big team with probably the best Top 3 on the blue line in the league. Their Head Coach Brent Sutter has been known to preach a physical game as we have seen from the 2005 and 2006 World Junior Championship teams that pummeled their opponents to a pulp. The Canadiens have gotten by on scrappy play by their small but extremely talented forwards and courageous play by their depleted defense.

Game Story Lines
The Canadiens will switch up their D pairings again tonight, as Josh Gorges will play with Hal Gill, Yannick Weber will have his season debut alongside Paul Mara, and the Czech Connection of Hamrlik and Spacek remain intact. Kyle Chipchura will center the fourth line as Glen Metropolit heals his bruised ribs. Travis Moen will stay on the third line after and incredible and inspired game in Buffalo on Saturday. New Flame Jay Bouwmeester has played huge minutes in his first two games, averaging about 20:00 per. Miikka Kiprusoff has defied his usual slow start the season, as he as been sparkling, almost as sparkling as Carey Price. The Flames big and tough two way players like Rene Bourque and Curtis Glencross will be trying to crash the net and attack the smaller Canadiens.

Canadiens keys to victory
To beat the Flames tonight, it is not going to be with pure skill alone, the Habs must keep playing courageous and fearless Hockey, not being afraid of getting roughed when they drive to the net. At the same time, they must be aware that the Depth Chart is thin, and although we are 2-0 without some key players, we still must make sure to keep healthy. So boys, don't let Dion Phaneuf catch you with you head down, you saw what happened to Kyle Okposo, you are going to be drinking your dinner through a straw for a couple days. But the underlying theme of this match-up is GOALTENDING. Carey Price has played two great games in a row for probably the first time since late 2008 and the Canadiens are not going to get far if he doesn't do it again tonight.

Finally a fun little fact for you today: Rush Limbaugh and St. Louis Blues Owner Dave Checketts are trying to purchase the St. Louis Rams. I'm sure if asked about the Rams awful record to start this year, Rush will blame it on the Liberal Media.

Enjoy the late start.
Peace True Believers,

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Ryno out six weeks.

Another crippling blow to our Defensive corps.
To cheer you up... some midgets beating each other up on Springer.
I did promise it.
Cheer up,
at least we're first in the division.
Peace true believers,


Wait... we weren't supposed to win!
That was the Canadiens first victory without Andrei Markov since February 4th, 2007. It was a 4-3 overtime win over the Pittsburgh Penguins and David Aebischer got the win. Don't ask me how long it took me to find that little fact. Don't ask me who scored the winner... probably was Radek Bonk or Mike Johnson. Props to anyone who remembers Mike Johnson OR Janne Niinimaa. Quite a trade that turned out to be... Ribeiro had 78 points last year... Niinimaa had 18 points in 20 games, which is great for a Defenseman, if he didn't do it on Lagnau of the Swiss League...
I digress.
The Canadiens shocked the world again tonight, still getting out shot and out muscled but coming away with an OT win, ruining a second straight opposing team's home opener. Travis Moen is impressing me SO much with his gritty yet productive play and Brian Gionta reinforces the fact that he is so small that he's able to elude hulking D-Men like Tyler Myers (basically an English speaking Zdeno Chara) by going through their legs, a la mischevious midget.
There will be mischievous midget videos up soon...
Unfortunately the Canadiens are not staying healthy, as Glen Metropolit and Ryan O'Byrne, two blue collar players who have been great character guys for the Habs in this young season both left the game and did not return. Sources say Metro has an upper body injury, while Ryno's injury is being called one of "the lower body variation". Just thought I should spice that one up.
Next up: The Canadiens travel on their annual Western Canada road trip, earlier than usual and open up in Cowtown versus the Flames, who I personally dislike because of Olli "the Otter" Jokinen, whose face and inconsistency down the stretch just makes me want to do terrible and atrocious things to the Ecosystem in which all otters live. The Flames are also 2-0-0 and boast the scariest blue line in the NHL with Bouwmeester, Phaneuf and Regher ALL being considered for Team Canada.
Keep shockin' em boys.
And for frig's sake, keep your heads up.

Peace True Believers,

Saturday, October 3, 2009

2009 - 2010 Game Preview. GAME 2. Canadiens vs. Sabres

This is a accurate picture of the Canadiens without Andrei Markov, notice Jacques Martin looking surprisingly like Rick Moranis. There's no point in more whining ladies and gentlemen, it's not going to heal Andy's tendons anytime sooner. What has to be done is for us to look forward to the future and have a smidgen of optimism knowing that we still have a dynamic group of forwards and an improved defensive core from last year. Roman Hamrlik will start in Markov's place on the first D pairing with Jaroslav Spacek, Travis Moen will move up to the third line in Mat D'Agostini's place who will be a healthy scratch, and Glen Metrosexual (props to Bong Hit for that Moniker) will center the fourth line with Greg Stewart and Georges Laraque. Max Patch and the Great Jewtalian will swap spots so that Cammalleri will be reunited with fellow Smurfs Brian Gionta and Scott Gomez. Finally, to lift all your spirits up, here is a quote from South Shore Habs Fan, who sent this to one of my favorite blogs, Four Habs Fans:

The star Russian defenceman and powerplay QB is injured for 4 months on the first game of the season, and the team struggles out of the gate. They come together around February, just as the star D-man returns and starts lighting it up, and jump from 10th place to 6th in the East and into the playoffs. Once in the playoffs, the inspired play of a young goalie determined to prove that he wasn't a draft bust, combined with a surprisingly strong defence that somehow includes Hal Gill, and a handful of gritty Quebecois third-liners leads the team to their first Stanley Cup in 17 years.

Delusion? Nope - the 2008-2009 Pittsburgh Penguins.

Keep the faith
Peace True Believers,

Friday, October 2, 2009

Well, this is quite a start.

It's going to be a long 3-4 months. Andrei Markov has supposedly suffered a torn tendon in last night's game against the Maple Leafs after getting tangled and probably cut by Carey Price's skate.

More to come.

Game One Canadiens 4 Leafs 3 OT: SMURFS SHINE IN PRIMETIME

Well it wasn't pretty, but we all knew it wouldn't be. The Canadiens opened up their season with a win, thanks to some unexpected offense from Glen (Don't screw with me because my brother will kill you) Metropolit and Josh Gorges. Every Canadien fan was happy to see Georges Laraque drop the gloves and rough up Colton Orr, but I'm sure the same people hoped that Travis Moen would've landed a little more punches on Public Enemy Mike Komisarek's big stupid face.
Andrei Markov left the game with what is being called a "Deep Foot Cut". Supposedly it is all stitched up but he will not be coming to Buffalo with the team to spend time to heal. Carey Price was spectacular in nets, Brian Gionta was exceptional, firing from every spot in the ice, and Mike Cammalleri showed his skill, setting up the OT winner. The third line was solid, generating lots of energy through big checks. Ryan O'Byrne has had a complete turnaround so far, looking like a smart and seasoned D-Man. Even Tina Plekanec was speedy and generated chances.

Hal Gill however...
Well hes 6'7. At least he has that going for him. Just stay in front of the net Hal, you will be alright.

Next Up: The Canadiens travel to Playofffutilityville USA, oh, sorry at some point in the last 50 years they changed the name to Buffalo, to attract more tourists. The Sabres are a team I don't know much about so expect a fight, because for some reason we always have it tough down there in Western New York.
Two points is still two points. I'll take it.
Peace True Believers,

Thursday, October 1, 2009

2009-2010 Game Preview. GAME 1. Canadiens vs. Leafs

An authentic portrait of the famous colonnial traitor, Benedict Komisarnold.

I had to do it. Come on...
The little three of Gomez, Gionta and Gomez will try to maneuver around the big three of Komisarek, Exelby and Schenn tonight in a game that has been hyped ever since the schedule was announced. Once again, the Canadiens start their season on the road, and after this play Buffalo, then take their annual Western road trip, curiously early in the year.

Game story lines
The Canadiens debut their revamped lineup, as do the now scary tough Maple Leafs. Expectations are not high for these Original Six rivals, as many people believe they will be Playoff bubble teams. The Canadiens fast but small top six will try to overcome the Leafs new core of bruisers that include former Canadien Mike Komisarek, Garnett Exelby, Colton Orr, Jay Rosehill and former College Star Viktor Stalberg, a 6'3 force that dazzled in training camp and will play on the top line with Matt Stajan and Jason Blake.

Canadiens keys to victory
To beat the Leafs tonight, the Habs must get out to a fast start, and not let the bigger and badder Leafs intimidate them and wear them down with body checks. We know the top line of Pacioretty-Gomez-Gionta will generate chances, but the big iffy question is if the second line of Cammalleri-Plekanec-Kostitsyn will be an asset or a liability. Canadiens fans can only hope that Pleks and Big Tits can return to their scintillating production in 07-08 complimented with a talented scorer like Mike Cammalleri who for know on will be known as "The Great Jewtalian". Pleks couldn't have said it any better "He's been playing like a little girl". A pubescent just-after-her-first-period-angry-because-her-boobs-aren't-big-enough little girl. Finally Jesus Price must rebound from his horrific 2009 form if the Canadiens are to win any games.
The time is finally here.

Peace True Believers,

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Sergei Kostitsyn asks for trade.

Not to going to dwell on this, because I think he is immature and reckless and holding himself in too high of a regard to pull this type of crap right before the season started.
He did not play well enough.
His attitude has not changed.
He deserves to be sent down.
Pierre McGuire was on the TEAM 990 and when asked about this, he baisically replied that fans should be confused to why the Canadiens did not get rid of him this summer when they got rid of the rest of their "problem players", and why they waited until now that it has escalated.
Well I usually agree with you Pierre. But that is the wrong question to ask.
The players who left this summer all had their contracts expire, you can bet your house Bob Gainey would not have just traded Alex Kovalev on July 1st. Another reason why Sergei was still with the team was because he has been touted as having "boatloads of potential", at one point in Junior, he was on a line with Sam Gagner and Patrick Kane. Gainey knew that Kovalev was not going to change his erratic off ice behavior, so he let him go. Maybe management hoped Sergei could change once negative influences were out the door.
The real question that all Hab fans should be asking right now is: Is Sergei Kostitsyn worth it?
Should we continue to scold him until he is a reformed player, or do we let him leave and possibly create an issue with his older brother Andrei, who is very unpredictable and easily shaken when it comes to his level of play.
Is he worth it?
This blogger gives the young Belarussian a big ol' NYET.
But you tell me.
Peace true believers,

New & Notes. Septmber 30th 2009

Here are some stories that are making news this cold Wednesday morning.
  • Mats Sundin, arguably the greatest Swedish hockey player of all time, has retired. Sundin was universally hated in the city of Montreal when he first led the Toronto Maple Leafs, and then decided not to sign here once he became a free agent. Love him or hate him, it's tough to ignore the stats. 564 Goals and 1349 points in 1346 games with the Nordiques, Maple Leafs and Canucks. Funny that he played his entire career in Canada while some great Canadians like Steve Yzerman, Mario Lemieux and Brendan Shannahan never played a game for a team north of the border.
  • Cody Hodgson, who was supposed to challenge for a spot on the Canucks 2nd line, has been sent down to the Brampton Battalion of the OHL. Although he is disappointed, he should look foawrd to the 2010 World Junior Championships, where he along with other top talents like Nazem Kadri and Brayden Schenn, should demolish the competition.
  • A bunch of signing were made yesterday as Maxim Afinegenov agreed to terms with the Thrashers, Martin Skoula inked a deal with Pittsburgh, and former Hab Robert Lang will sign in Phoenix pending a physical.'s all for now folks!
God, does no one realize Porky Pig should see a speech therapist...

Tuesday, September 29, 2009


The Canadiens have the trimmed down squad that will suit up against the Toronto Maple Leafs in less than 48 hours.
The Habs cut Ben Maxwell, Mathieu Carle, Yannick Weber and Curtis Sanford while Kyle Chipchura will stay with the team as he is injured. No surprises here seeing that even though Maxwell showed some promise this pre-season, there was just no room for him on this team, even with the demotion of Sergei Kostitsyn. He will probably be the first call up if there is an injury. Unless little Tits can undergo a personality face lift at some point.
I am happy to see Ryan O'Byrne make this team. After a humiliating year in 2008-2009, he looks like a brand new defenceman, plus he can now kick a little ass in the fight department after taking boxing lessons over the summer.
Ryno could be playing with Paul Mara, who is the subject of the delightful little video in which the new Habs #22 was mic'd up with the Rangers last season.

The regular season is almost here.
Get friggin pumped.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Yom Kippuriffic

Habs cuts are on the way, here is something I know you will enjoy in the spirit of Yom Kippur, the Jewish holiday of atonement. A lot of Canadiens should be at shul for this one.
Credits to Puck Daddy and Habsinsideout.

Easy fasting.

Monday, September 21, 2009


So um, analysts.... you said that Sidney Crosby is really good right...
Right said that Malkin is also really really good...
That's right
And um...the Canadiens are too small and their first line is not going to put up any points.
Well that's strictly our opnino...
I'm sorry, you just got Smurfed. I'm coining this phrase and using it every time Gomez, Ginota and the Jewtalian Cammalleri put up big numbers in a game.
Well this is only an exhibition game, they're not good, it's just a pre season game...
So when the bloodthirsty Jackals got on Price's case after he let up 4 goals against Ottawa in the PRE-SEASON, they were wrong to do so and we really have no idea?
...Damn. Whatever guys we still have the Coyotes-Balsille thing to bitch about....
I don't care what the poon-dits have to say about this team. This is going to be a fun year.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Good start to the Pre-Season

Well, non important exhibition Hockey is in the air and the Canadiens are 2-0 in Pre-Season play. Yes...we know...plan the parade right down Ste. Catharines..
What I have liked the most from these wins is that the Three Members of the Lollipop Guild, (Cammy, Gomez and Gionta) have all scored and Carey Price stopped 9 of 9 shots in his start against Florida.
Notable bubble players who have been playing well: Max Patches (79 OVR in NHL 10. Okay...) and Ben Maxwell
Eh...not so much: Yannick Weber
We play the Sens in Ottawa tomorrow night. (Or is it tonight? Since im writing this at 12:26 AM)
Shana Tova everyone.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Are the 2009-2010 Canadiens becoming the 2002-2003 Devils???

Just zoning out in French class, exhausted from watching my beloved Chargers just barely squeak out a win against the Oakland Raiders, who as my faithful reader and NFL Consultant Nu said "bullied San Diego like Johnny Lawrence in the Karate Kid".
To Hockey.
The image above is of Carey Price all decked out in shiny, new and red Goalie Pads and a brand spankin' new helmet that doesn't include images of Garth Brooks, who has absolutely nothing to do with Hockey in an Eastern French Canadian city. His new mask looks like it has some retro images of Hab greats Ken Dryden and Gump, along with the Montreal Skyline on the forehead and the centennial logo on the chin. I will post pics of the closeup once they are released.
In other Habs news Andrei Markov has rejected the offer to become the Canadiens captain, and I will probably be posting a whole article about the Captaincy issue soon, but I'm just going to say here that I do not blame him at all.
Anyway now to the question in the title.
As I read the reports from the early days of Training Camp, and I hear Coach Martin's analysis of this new team, I can't help but think of the New Jersey teams of the late 90's and early 00's when I study the makeup of this squad. Not only because those teams had present day Habs Scott Gomez and Brian Gionta.

Defensive oriented offense.
When the Devils captured their Stanley Cups, they did not do it relying on Offense. From their first cup in 1994-1995, to their third in 2002-2003, only one player had scored more than 85 points in a season over those 9 years, Patrik Elias. Much like the Devils, the Canadiens boast only one player who had over 80 points last year, Mike Cammalleri. The rest of the top fowards in the top six put up respectable yet non-flashy numbers. With the additions of Travis Moen, Georges Laraque and Glen Metropolit in the last two years, the Canadiens have one of the toughest bottom six core of checkers and grinders in the entire league. In the Devils days of glory, they had an intimidating group of hard working third and fourth liners that included Claude Lemieux, Randy McKay, Mike Peluso, John Madden, Turner Stevenson and Mike Rupp. While people worry about the Canadiens ability to create offense and have doubts about a defensive minded Coach like Jacques Martin, people should realize that it's not all about scoring 5 goals a game, even if it does get you free wings. I would take a 2-1 win any day over a 7-6 loss. I would rather Brian Gionta score 24 goals and the Canadiens go to the Conference Finals then score 35 and get bounced in the first round. If Martin does his job right, the Canadiens should be able to play a defensive minded game, while still racking up wins. Much like Jacques Lemaire did in Jersey, much like he will do now after returning to the Swamp this off season.

A unit defense.
The Devils are known for their grade A defense year after year. No matter who is lining up on their blue line, they always seem to be one of the top units in the league. At one point, they had Scott Stevens, Scott Niedermayer and Brian Rafalski, ALL AT ONCE. Three of our decades best defenseman all in Red and Black. When Scott Stevens retired, analysts thought their D Dominance was done. Nope. In comes Paul Martin. Scott Niedermayer leaves for California. In comes Johnny Oduya. Rafalski leaves to Detroit, in comes Colin White. It seems that no matter what happens or who is on their blue line, they are successful. Not because they are all stars, but because they consistently start defenseman who do not make mistakes and are intelligent. The Canadiens are trying to do that because aside for Andrei Markov, they do not posses any world class talent. Instead, they have a solid core of smart and reliable defenseman like Roman Hamrlik, Paul Mara, Hal Gill, Jaroslav Spacek and Josh Georges as well as some highly touted prospects like PK Subban. Martin compared the Canadiens defense to the 2006 Stanley Cup Champion Carolina Hurricanes saying that "Our group of defensemen are experienced and dependable...Depth wise, there was not a large gap between the first and sixth defenseman."

The Devils can attribute a huge amount of their success to Martin Brodeur, whose play has earned him accolades like "The greatest goaltender of all time", or G-GOAT. Carey Price's seasons last year, was anything but G-GOAT calibre. If Price can play half as good as Martin Brodeur, the Canadiens should be able to have a very impressive record this year. The tentative word there, is of course IF. To me, it seems that the success or failure of this season falls squarely on Price's apathetic shoulders.

BTW I'm thinking of some clever homophobic joke to make with the word "Cheechoo" to yell next time I'm at a Canadiens Senators game. Comment if you have any ideas.