Quick Hits

Some mini headlines on Erev Trade Deadline.

• Nicklas Backstrom (the Goalie) has been signed to a four year contract extension that will take him out of possible trade talks.
• In a move that shocked the hockey world (lol jks), Sean Avery has been picked up on re-entry waivers by the New York Rangers.  In other completely shocking headlines, Liberace has come out of the closet.  The Rangers hope they can use him to help them beat Fatty and the Devils in the Playoffs. (Big ups to Brad for that comedic gem)
• Aaaaaand finally a bunch of old dudes have been placed on waivers to clear space to get under the salary cap.  Any of these veterans picked up will come with a fresh pair of diapers and a month's worth of Levitra.

Some Thoughts For The Night.

Well as we all know, today's quest for the holy Bill ended in disappointment as he remains on the Islanders and will probably only be moved on Wednesday.  Since I might actually have to work tomorrow, I am writing this piece tonight, almost a calm before the inevitable storm. By the way, I gotta give mad respect to my new sidekick, Litty the Boy Wonder who has dedciated himself to helping me report the news that matters..and the news that no one gives a rat's ass about to you my faithful readers.

  When 3 P.M. comes around on deadline day, we will probably be looking at a very different NHL, with some familiar faces in new places, and hey, maybe even a few sporting the Tricolore.  

I'm taking the time tonight to say goodbye to some Habitants who might not be with us once that fateful hour arrives.

1) Mathieu Dandenault

Well Dandy, this is the end.

It's been a known fact since this weekend that Dandenault wants to play, and that Bob Gainey is willing to give him that chance.  Although it will be on a different team.  This is a guy who has been on 3 Stanley Cup winning Red Wing teams, and actually chose to sign with the Habs.  We thought we could use him for leadership but much like the infamous acquisition of Sergei Samsonov (OMG was that a brutal experience) it ended up with Dandy feeling unappreciated, much like that chick with the acne who no one will dance with at the party even thought she probably gives it up really easy.  

Probability of Getting Traded: 90%

2) Chris Higgins

So..Much..Promise..

We all loved Chris Higgins, the Ivy League boy who could play both ends of the ice, was a great Penalty Killer and could score 30 goals when healthy.  Only problem is, he's not very good at that last thing...no he's able to score...just staying healthy is the tricky part.  He's gone from hero to permanent trade bait and aside from his flashes of brilliance (his Heisman like stiff arm on Drew Doughty to tie up a game against the Kings) he has looked sore for most of the year... I used to think Chris could be our next captain but from the way this season's played out for Smithtown New York's favorite son, maybe a change of scenery is all he needs to get back into form.

Probability of Getting Traded: 50%

3)Georges Laraque.

There is not one person in this entire city who didn't want to buy a #17 Jersey the minute he signed with the Habs this July, and we still love you BGL, except maybe the feeling isn't so mutual anymore.  Most of us know the story... Laraque says he's unhappy with ice time, says he wants a trade.  Laraque takes it back, says he loves the city. Everyone is confused by this 6'3 250 pound Haitian Dr.Jekyll/Mr. Hyde and his contradictory statements.  Although it is unlikely he will get dealt, don't write it off as impossible.  Bob Gainey is like our lord.  He works in mysterious ways.

Probability of Getting Traded: 38.76%

So for those of you that will not make it to see March 5th 2009 in the city of Montreal:

Au Revoir Les Boys

Wherever you may go, at least you'll have lower taxes.

Peace

DELIVERANCE!!!

THERE HAS BEEN A DEAL IN HABLAND

I CAN FINALLY GO TO SLEEP AT NIGHT WITHOUT BEING LULLED BY THE SOUND OF MY OWN SCREAMS.

THE MONTREAL CANADIENS ARE HONORED TO ANNOUNCE THE.....

Singing of ANDREW CONBOY!!!

The Canadiens Fifth Round Pick.....

YAY!.

The sad thing is when I heard the Habs made a transaction I full out shpeezed all over myself in anticipation of seeing B.Guers in a Canadiens Uniform.

My God, Am I becoming one of...one of.............

THEM?!

Anyway I wanna thank some guys who have been making an effort to get this blog out there...

soo shout out to Matt Rapkowski,  Jon Nadler, Taylor Litwin, Josh Romoff and Bryan Kelenson.

I owe all of you a couple of  "danses contactes" at Wandas this weekend.

Peace 

Billy Watch: Hour Whatever...

Meh..

He's taken long enough...

Some juicy news out of the League:

• Sean Avery is on re-entry waivers.  Will probably be a Ranger by tonight.  Says he has a "new organic behaviour" which leads many to believe that he developed a pot habit while away from the game.  Warning:  He might come to Ranger practice tomorrow with long dreads and then ditch the team to go chill in tents in Australia a la Ricky Williams.
• Jaro Halak missed practice today with the flu, Chris Higgins showed up late... almost got excited and assumed this meant he was set to be traded. I then realized that traffic was probably just backed up on the Champlain Bridge.
• Brian Burke has classified the rumored Bruins trade proposal of "Colborne, a 3rd and a 2nd for Kaberle" as absolute poppycock...to put it nicely. Knowing Burke his rant would probably consist of less "Poppy" and more...well you see where I'm going.

Billy Watch: Hour 1.

SO THIS IS IT, CRUNCH TIME.... SCREW SCHOOL AND THIS LARGE MIGRAINE, I AM GOING TO DEDICATE THIS DAY TO WAIT FOR BILL GUERIN.  

Just kidding.

But seriously. Lyle Richardson (aka Spector) reports that the deal that's sending Bill Guerin to what ever team he was supposed to be traded to might have fallen through.

So it looks like Bar Refaeli might have to wait another day.

"Sigh" I'll be in my room with the Vaseline.

Doing What?

What do you think...

Possibly a second Billy Geez In Montreal???

So for all you Montrealers who have been living under a rock, much like the one inhabited by Patrick Star in Spongebob, here's what you need to know.

Mid Sunday afternoon, reports surfaced that Bill Guerin will be traded before the March 3rd deadline.  This made sense after Guerin was plucked off the ice during warm ups on Saturday night versus the Sabres.  The only missing piece is that no one is allowed to announce WHICH team he's being traded to...

Oh hooo.

So Lemme Get This Straight.

You are being traded...

Bill Guerin: Yes

You know which team you are being traded to...

Bill Guerin: That's right.

But, you can't tell us...

Bill Guerin: Sorry Bro...

I think at this time Patrick Star himself would be more co-operative.

Spongebob: Patrick, why are you angry?

Patrick: I can't see my forehead.....

Well originally sources said that Guerin was headed to Philadelphia.

Then Washington.

Then Boston.

Then New Jersey.

Then Back to Washington.

Then Washington and Montr..... OMG HE'S COMING TO MONTREAL I KNEW IT THIS WILL DEFINITELY PUT US OVER THE EDGE INTO A CUP CONTENDER. I AM SO SURE HE'S COMING I'M GOING TO GET HIS HEAD SHOT TATTOOED RIGHT ABOVE MY ASS.

OOOOOO BIIIILLAAY

 

Calm down boys n' girls, a rumor is a rumor

But wouldn't it be nice?

I'll be pursuing this story and the minute this story breaks I will post an update and if he comes to Montreal, I promise you there will be a large picture of Israeli Super Model Bar Refaeli on the front page.

What can I say, I'm dedicated to my job.

Go Habs?

WHAT JUST HAPPENED: Habs 3 Sharks 2

Well, we just witnessed the impossible. 

A Canadiens team that was all but given up for dead a week ago has won FOUR straight and is challenging Philadelphia for Home Ice Advantage in the Playoffs....  But wait, this wasn't what was supposed to happen!

We were supposed to KEEP LOSING.  And we would blame it ALL on Kovalev.  And the Mathieu Schneider deal was supposed to do NOTHING to help our power play that's has gone from almost dead last to 16th in six games.  Carbo was supposed to get canned because he COULDN'T coach.  And god damn it wasn't Halak supposed to be in that Marian Gaborik deal we've been waiting on since October!

This isn't anything like we planned.

This team actually looks talented and might have a chance against the league's best.

Weren't we not supposed to able to beat the Islanders.

This is scary........

I don't think we're in Montreal anymore Toto.